Thoughts

moving...

2009-07-07T14:48:00.000-05:00

...to just one blog

alyssaslittleblog.blogspot.com

thoughts on a romance

2009-07-06T16:50:00.004-05:00

I've just watched the BBC’s production of Persuasion by Jane Austen and my initial thought upon finishing it was “Rubbish!” I have not only wasted time, but filled my mind with images of heaving bosoms, trembling lips, longing looks and a final passionate kiss that bespeaks the only proper ending to an emotionally-charged romance. But surely I can learn something if I will think it through.

The good:

- I admired several qualities of the main character, Anne Elliot: her firmness of will - such as when she unflinchingly put out her hands to reset a young boy’s dislocated collarbone, her modest demeanor amidst a family that was excessively vain and infatuated with human honor, her kindness toward her rather annoying sister, (whom I would have been quite inclined to shake violently); her patience in not immediately throwing herself at a man she loved very much; her disregard for status, such as in calling on a poor woman as her friend.
- The fact that Captain Frederick loved Anne more for her character than her looks was commendable.
- I appreciated the sobriety of Ann and the Captain, who did not try to casually toss away the awkwardness of their strained relationship with forced levity. (Yet could there have been forgiveness for righteousness’ sake, and not merely because they were still in love with each other? Of course, but such stories are never made into movies!)
- I appreciated the way the story honored the woman who quietly waited, and not the woman who was giddy and flirtatious. The whole movie portrayed flirtation in a bad light, and that can be helpful in discouraging its practice.

The bad:

- Family ties were portrayed as something that existed only for status, and there was no portrayal of the family as it ought to be. The hero of the story was the young woman who finally disregarded her family for the love of her heart. Now, as the story went, there really was nothing else she could do. Her family was a cluster of (rather nauseating) primping societal baubles who cared nothing for matters of the soul…. Captain Frederick was handsome and ardent and deep down he loved Anne…where else could the story go? And yet, this individualistic disregard of the family, though made necessary in Persuasion, is played out again and again in contemporary homes where self-absorbed young women live in a dream-world where they imagine themselves to be just like Ann Elliot, and there families to be as ridiculous as hers. Imbued with a sense of sacred individualism, they imagine their romantic affairs to be their own personal possession, and hope that their emotional attachment to the boy down the street will end with a kiss as passionate as the Captain’s, and a love as undying. The vision for God-honoring and holy relationships, the beauty of properly exercised headship and submission, and the Christian realization that I am not my own but God’s - are drowned by deafening throb of the individual heart.
- The story follows the pattern of romantic fantasizing in which many women are prone to indulge. The female heart’s longing for love, if fueled by a vivid imagination, can easily produce a story like this. Austen had a good imagination. Some women do not - never mind - they can fuel their fantasy with the stories of talented writers. Though romantic stories are not always wrong in themselves, they have great potential danger as fuel for idle fantasizing, which is not only unprofitable, but also has a tendency to inflame lust.
- The story was focused on the human level, as if men were gods and God was unimportant, even non-existent. God alone satisfies the longing of the human heart, but sadly, the story portrayed what so many people erroneously think - that human love will satisfy the heart’s deepest longings.

So then, am I glad I watched the movie? I’m not sure. The suspense was wonderful. The ending was rapturous. But I was profoundly unsatisfied, and not surprised. I have a happy ending still to come, that will make Anne and the Captain look like crumbly claymation. It’s not just my personal happy ending, but one to be shared with all Christ’s people, when the love of our hearts will come back (after an absence much longer than eight years), and prove that he still loves us by raising us out of the grave, to be with Him forever.

self smitten and annihilated

2009-07-04T10:32:00.003-05:00

I was quite struck by these words of John Calvin on the nature of true repentance:

"It is a most difficult and arduous achievement to renounce ourselves, and lay aside our natural disposition. For the flesh must not be thought to be destroyed unless every thing that we have of our own is abolished. But seeing that all the desires of the flesh are enmity against God (Rom. 8:7), the first step to the obedience of his law is the renouncement of our own nature.
...As we are naturally averse to God, unless self-denial precede, we shall never tend to that which is right. Hence we are so often enjoined to put off the old man, to renounce the world and the flesh, to forsake our lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of our mind. Moreover, the very name mortification reminds us how difficult it is to forget our former nature, because we hence infer that we cannot be trained to the fear of God, and learn the first principles of piety, unless we are violently smitten with the sword of the Spirit and annihilated, as if God were declaring, that to be ranked among his sons there must be a destruction of our ordinary nature."

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, III.III.8

The Death of Athaliah - Gustave Dore

He without anything is more than all without Him

2009-07-03T18:35:00.001-05:00

"God, and all that he has made, is not more than God without any thing that he has made...He is enough without the creature, but the creature is not anything without him. It is therefore better to enjoy him without anything else, than to enjoy everything else without him."
- William Secker

pre-anesthesia musings

2009-06-30T07:02:00.001-05:00

Getting ready to head to my wisdom-teeth surgery in about an hour, I had a few thoughts about how our soul kept through faith if we are unconscious...

Although it is by faith that the soul experiences saving union with Jesus Christ, and without faith in Christ, there is no life or salvation - it is not ultimately our faith which keeps us united to Christ, but the loving decree of God to save us and make us His own. If this were not so, and our faith were the primary and ultimate factor in our salvation, we would lose our salvation every time we sleep. But He who watches over Israel does not slumber or sleep, and He preserves our souls when our minds are in such a state that they cannot continue to exercise faith. Still we are called in all our waking moments to believe the promises of God in Jesus Christ, for He only is our life and our salvation. To do otherwise than believe in Him for all that He is to us is to deny Him to be our life and salvation. Therefore, when we believe anything, we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ; and when we can neither think nor have any faith at all, the promises in which we believe remain true, and the God whom we believe remains faithful. Thus it is shown that He, and not us, is the ultimate source of salvation....

"...be not afraid"

2009-06-22T09:52:00.001-05:00

A storm? But He who rules all things,
From rolling dice to hearts of kings,
Still speaks; my frightened heart is stayed
By, "It is I; be not afraid."

AFC-6-22-09

comprehended in Christ

2009-06-18T08:37:00.002-05:00

"When we see that the whole sum of our salvation, and every single part of it, are comprehended in Christ, we must beware of deriving even the minutes portion of it from any other quarter.
If we seek salvation, we are taught by the very name of Jesus that he possesses it; if we seek any other gifts of the Spirit, we shall find them in his unction; strength in his government; purity in his conception; indulgence in his nativity, in which he was made like us in all respects, in order that he might learn to sympathise with us: if we seek redemption, we shall find it in his passion; acquittal in his condemnation; remission of the curse in his cross; satisfaction in his sacrifice; purification in his blood; reconciliation in his descent to hell; mortification of the flesh in his sepulchre; newness of life in his resurrection; immortality also in his resurrection; the inheritance of a celestial kingdom in his entrance into heaven; protection, security, and the abundant supply of all blessings, in his kingdom; secure anticipation of judgment in the power of judging committed to him.
...since in him all kinds of blessings are treasured up, let us draw a full supply from him, and none from any other quarter."
- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion. II.XVI.19

Jesus didn't have children - does that mean something?

2009-06-17T10:06:00.001-05:00

Last night there were questions stirring in my mind about covenants, families and children…God works through families…at least, He did…does He still? …What is the significance of the New Testament biological family? It’s quite important, but is it the same as it was in the Old Testament? Maybe it is not…

This morning, I had one helpful thought: Jesus did not have children. So I stirred that in and dished out a few paragraphs of thoughts:

A promise of blessing was made to Abraham and his “offspring” (which Paul says refers to Christ, Gal. 3:16). During the Old Testament the blessing was transferred through the physical offspring - a physical offspring through which ultimately Christ would come. But after Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary, in the line of Abraham and of David, he himself had no children. Instead, “to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God - who were born not of the will of man, nor of the will of the flesh, but of God.” (John 1) After Jesus completed His earthly work and inaugurated His kingdom with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, the promise of blessing was announced both to the Jews and to those who were far off “whom the Lord our God will call” (Acts 2).

In Christ and the New Testament, those things which were physically foreshadowed in the Old Testament were spiritually fulfilled - the spiritual reality being more real than the physical reality had been. For example, the physical sacrifices of the Old Testament were fulfilled with the final sacrifice of Christ, which was both physical and spiritual, and through which now believers “offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

Is it not the same with the idea of offspring? The physical generations of the Jews, to whom the law and the promises came, reached the fruition of its purpose in the generation of Jesus Christ, which was both physical and spiritual, and through whom all believers in Christ are now the spiritual children of God.

"that He may rule without distinction"

2009-06-12T09:27:00.001-05:00

John Calvin has a beautiful description of the unfolding of the Testaments.

"Until the advent of Christ, the Lord set apart one nation, to which he confined the covenant of his grace. Moses says, “When the Most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. For the Lord’s portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance,” (Deut. 32:8, 9).
In another passage he thus addresses the people: “Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the Lord’s thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is. Only the Lord had a delight in thy fathers to love them, and he chose their seed, after them, even you, above all people, as it is this day,” (Deut. 10:14, 15). That people, therefore, as if they had been the only part of mankind belonging to him he favoured exclusively with the knowledge of his name, depositing his covenant, as it were, in their bosom, manifesting to them the presence of his divinity and honouring them with all privileges. But to say nothing of other favours, the only one here considered is his binding them to him by the communion of his word, so that he was called and regarded as their God.
Meanwhile, other nations, as if they had had no kind of intercourse with him, he allowed to wander in vanity not even supplying them with the only means of preventing their destructions—viz. the preaching of his word.
Israel was thus the Lord’s favourite child the others were aliens.
Israel was known and admitted to trust and guardianship, the others left in darkness;
Israel was made holy, the others were profane; Israel was honoured with the presence of God, the others kept far aloof from him.
But on the fulness of the time destined to renew all things, when the Mediator between God and man was manifested, the middle wall of partition, which had long kept the divine mercy within the confines of Israel, was broken down, peace was preached to them who were afar off, as well as to those who were nigh, that being, together reconciled to God, they might unite as one people. Wherefore, there is now no respect of Jew or Greek, of circumcision or uncircumcision, but Christ is all and in all. To him the heathen have been given for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession (Ps. 2:8), that he may rule without distinction “from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth,” (Ps. 72:8).

"... I must not be ashamed of them."

2009-06-05T08:42:00.004-05:00

"Many gracious persons (for many such I am persuaded there are) who differ from me, more or less, in those points which are called Calvinistic, appear desirous that the Calvinists should, for their sakes, studiously avoid every expression which they cannot approve. Yet few of them, I believe. impose a like restraint upon themselves, but think the importance of what they deem to be truth, justifies them in speaking their sentiments plainly, and strongly. May I not plead for an equal liberty? The views I have received of the doctrines of grace are essential to my peace, I could not live comfortably a day or an hour without them. I likewise believe, yea, so far as my poor attainments warrant me to speak, I know them to be friendly to holiness, and to have a direct influence in producing and maintaining a gospel conversation, and therefore I must not be ashamed of them."

- John Newton, preface to Olney Hymns

...but what fetters?

2009-06-04T10:49:00.004-05:00

Redemption from the curse and bondage of the law is not the retraction of the law's righteous directives. Through the Gospel, the curse of the law’s impossible-to-fulfill demands is removed from us, but the moral law itself remains a lamp to our feet and light to our path, the faithful instruction of a good Master, and a reflection of that holy Christ-like character which we long to attain. Let us not think these things fetters to be thrown off by the advent of the Gospel, but fruits gleaned from Gospel blessings.
John Calvin describes the usefulness of the moral law to the believer in Book II, chapter VII of the Institutes:

“we must be freed from the fetters of the Law, if we would not perish miserably under them. But what fetters? Those of rigid and austere exaction, which remits not one iota of the demand, and leaves no transgression unpunished. To redeem us from this curse, Christ was made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree (Deut. 21:23, compared with Gal. 3:13, 4:4). In the following chapter, indeed, he says, that “Christ was made under the law, in order that he might redeem those who are under the law;” but the meaning is the same. For he immediately adds, “That we might receive the adoption of sons.” What does this mean? That we might not be, all our lifetime, subject to bondage, having our consciences oppressed with the fear of death. Meanwhile, it must ever remain an indubitable truth, that the Law has lost none of its authority, but must always receive from us the same respect and obedience.”

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion II.VII.15

He who enables me to fight....

2009-06-02T15:39:00.003-05:00

“’Did not God assist us, we should not only not be able to conquer, but not able even to fight.’ [Augustine]”

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion Book II, Chap. V, section 14

The very fact that I am able to fight against sin and pursue righteousness, however feebly, ought to give me hope, in that God’s Spirit helps me and gives me a will to do good. Indeed, my heart should take great courage in the remembrance that He who enables me to fight is just as able to make me a conqueror in His good time.

How can we attribute the same work to God, to Satan, and to man?

2009-06-01T18:43:00.001-05:00

John Calvin answers this question beautifully in The Institutes:

...Let us refer to the calamities brought upon holy Job by the Chaldeans. They having slain his shepherds, carry off his flocks. The wickedness of their deed is manifest, as is also the hand of Satan, who, as the history informs us, was the instigator of the whole. Job, however, recognises it as the work of God, saying, that what the Chaldeans had plundered, “the Lord” had “taken away.” How can we attribute the same work to God, to Satan, and to man, without either excusing Satan by the interference of God, or making God the author of the crime? This is easily done, if we look first to the end, and then to the mode of acting. The Lord designs to exercise the patience of his servant by adversity; Satan’s plan is to drive him to despair; while the Chaldeans are bent on making unlawful gain by plunder. Such diversity of purpose makes a wide distinction in the act....there is no inconsistency in attributing the same act to God, to Satan, and to man, while, from the difference in the end and mode of action, the spotless righteousness of God shines forth at the same time that the iniquity of Satan and of man is manifested in all its deformity.

accustomed to the evils so long...

2009-05-16T19:18:00.003-05:00

"What appears to be practised by many soon obtains the force of a custom. And human affairs have scarcely ever been in so good a state as for the majority to be pleased with things of real excellence. From the private vices of multitudes, therefore, has arisen public error, or rather a common agreement of vices...It is evident to all who can see, that the world is inundated with more than an ocean of evils... And the remedy is rejected for no other reason, but because we have been accustomed to the evils so long.

a corrupt custom is nothing but an epidemical pestilence."

- John Calvin, dedicatory intro to Institutes of the Christian Religion

word pictures from a morning road-trip

2009-05-12T19:31:00.004-05:00

...traveling to Michigan on a spring morning through sunshiny fog-sprinkled countryside....Daddy drives, Mother beside quizzes him on the Baptist catechism: "How many persons are there in the godhead?”…roadside dandelions have gone to seed and their fuzzy gray heads are sodden with morning dew.…countless blossoming lilac bushes adorn the yards of otherwise shoddy and humble dwellings, or merely stand by the road, resplendent with dew-heavy purple clusters…if I were driving I would have stopped to smell them…the otherwise green forests by the highway are now laced with the white-dotted branches of dogwood and wild apple trees…thick pearl-grey strands of mists float out of the valleys and curl over the mountain treetops to rise into the warming morning air....through wispy mist-veils, the soft spring sky shines blue, and as the mist departs, the mountainside's fresh-leaved trees emerge, their pale green foliage vivid against moisture-blackened trunks…some tiny fuchsia flowers on the forest floor flash by almost unseen, surprising smudges of pink against the brown earth….a small plowed field appears in a clearing on a shrubby slope, an oblong spot of bumpy bareness, long grass on every side leans over to encroach on the upturned clods of rich brown earth, thick-strewn with pale, stiff stubble of last year’s cornstalks...

where there are no pictures, words must be taught to suffice

Spring Mercies

2009-04-17T19:02:00.001-05:00

“your Father in heaven…makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
- Matthew 5:45

“God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”
- Romans 2:4

Sun bright and sweet casts widening smiles
Across the earth’s awakening face
And sparks soft grass with glowing life
And all is green and all is grace.

In still-bare treetops blithe birds sing
Bared people walk with happy eyes
In sun and warmth, the strength of spring
For them, they know not otherwise.

Each heart leaps forth to grasp the boon
Of nature’s smiles, plans pleasant ways
To revel in the vivid gift
Of soft blue skies and sunny days

Men who their Maker disregard
Yet think to own His smiles as theirs
For to the unjust He gives light
Although they take it unawares.

And saints whose eyes are winter-worn
Whose hearts grow sad o’er present sin
In spring hear resurrection’s voice
And hope their battles soon to win.

In spring, few weary, warring souls
Are loathe to lay their armor off
For heaven’s rays seem bright on earth
Sin old, a thing at which we’d scoff.

But though the resurrection’s call
Rings glad in warm breeze and bird’s cry
These give but hope, not solid change
Saints’ wars end not until they die.

Though heav’n seems here, it’s yet to come
Spring’s not war’s lull, but kind supply
Of sweet refreshment in the fray
That girds us with peculiar joy.

God’s mercies to men good and bad
Are meant to humble all their pride
Spring shows His grace and patience great
Toward sinful men who Him despise.

Soul, see God’s kindness in the spring
As grace to all unworthy men
Remembering that a greater grace
That spring foresees to you is giv’n.

vapors - a poem

2009-04-06T20:03:00.003-05:00

life flies, life flies,

oh how swift its vapors rise,

though they sparkle in the light,

or roll darkly in the night,

they will pass like hasty breath,

and how quickly comes our death.

but our Savior dauntless stands,

see, He holds our trembling hands,

sweet might grasps the trusting soul,

saying "your stone too will roll."

- Alyssa Colby - 4-6-2009

whenI thought I was humble....

2009-03-16T19:26:00.002-05:00

Jonathan Edwards profoundly illustrates the emptiness of most of our ideas of humility in his Religious Affections....I'd thought humility involved the action of lowering myself, but realized that this very thought can be pride: I do not lower myself from my rightful place when deny myself and serve others- instead, I only bring myself nearer to the lowly place where I ought to be always. The difference can be subtle, but is so important - Edwards' illustration about the slave helped me understand it better:

It is natural for persons, in judging of the degree of their own humiliation, to take their measure from that which they esteem their proper height, or the dignity wherein they properly stand. That may be great humiliation in one, that is no humiliation at all in another; because the degree of honorableness, or considerableness wherein each does properly stand, is very different. For some great man, to stoop to loose the latchet of the shoes of another great man, his equal, or to wash his feet, would be taken notice of as an act of abasement in him; and he, being sensible of his own dignity, would look upon it so himself. But if a poor slave is seen stooping to unloose the shoes of a great prince, nobody will take any notice of this, as any act of humiliation in him, or token of any great degree of humility: nor would the slave himself, unless he be horribly proud and ridiculously conceited of himself: and if after he had done it, he should, in his talk and behavior, show that he thought his abasement great in it, and had his mind much upon it, as an evidence of his being very humble; would not every body cry out upon him, "Whom do you think yourself to be, that you should think this that you have done such a deep humiliation?" This would make it plain to a demonstration, that this slave was swollen with a high degree of pride and vanity of mind, as much as if he declared in plain terms, "I think myself to be some great one." And the matter is no less plain and certain, when worthless, vile, and loathsome worms of the dust, are apt to put such a construction on their acts of abasement before God; and to think it a token of great humility in them that obey, under their affections, can find themselves so willing to acknowledge themselves to be so mean and unworthy, and to behave themselves as those that are so inferior. The very reason why such outward acts, and such inward exercises, look like great abasement in such a one, is because he has a high conceit of himself. Whereas if he thought of himself more justly, these things would appear nothing to him, and his humility in them worthy of no regard; but would rather be astonished at his pride, that one so infinitely despicable and vile is brought no lower before God.—When he says in his heart, "This is a great act of humiliation; it is certainly a sign of great humility in me, that I should feel thus and do so;" his meaning is, "This is great humility for me, for such a one as I, that am so considerable and worthy." He considers how low he is now brought, and compares this with the height of dignity on which he in his heart thinks he properly stands, and the distance appears very great, and he calls it all mere humility, and as such admires it. Whereas, in him that is truly humble, and really sees his own vileness, and loathsomeness before God, the distance appears the other way. When he is brought lowest of all, it does not appear to him, that he is brought below his proper station, but that he is not come to it; he appears to himself yet vastly above it, he longs to get lower, that he may come to it, but appears at a great distance from it.

2009-02-28T20:30:00.001-05:00

I wasn't sure what I thought of this poem - intensely spiritual, beautiful in its expression of surrender, yet maybe rather separate from Biblical revelation - but perhaps not...

Communion

by Edward Dowden

LORD, I have knelt and tried to pray to-night,
But Thy love came upon me like a sleep,
And all desire died out; upon the deep
Of Thy mere love I lay, each thought in light
Dissolving like the sunset clouds, at rest
Each tremulous wish, and my strength weakness, sweet
As a sick boy with soon o’erwearied feet
Finds, yielding him unto his mother’s breast
To weep for weakness there. I could not pray,
But with closed eyes I felt Thy bosom’s love
Beating toward mine, and then I would not move
Till of itself the joy should pass away;
At last my heart found voice,—‘Take me, O Lord,
And do with me according to Thy word.’

~ ~ ~

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord,
from this time forth and forevermore.

- Psalm 131

Echoes of my End

2008-11-10T16:18:00.003-05:00

My Lord Jesus, coming soon, I have thought lately on what it will be like to see you, since I have not seen you but tasted many of your gifts which are but glimmers of your sweetness. Oh what shall it be unto my soul to taste and see you in your glory?

It will be at once like lying down my weary self upon a pillowed softness, sinking into sweet and restful sleep,

and like waking on a summer morning with sunshine streaming in the open window, breezes bringing scents of dewy grass and sounds of singing birds, heart thrilling with eagerness to meet the cheerful day...

like rest and like awakening at once it will be to see you.

It will be something like that irresistible awfulness felt standing in the ocean surf as its thick waves rush with foaming crests and wash with deep, wet power over me, leaving me almost breathless,

and like the solemn stillness of entering a forest glade at noon day when all is quiet, and sunshine downward streams through dappling leaves and gladdens the earth's tender grass

for your presence is at once terribly glorious and unspeakably sweet.

It will be like standing on a mountain with the forest, plains and rivers stretching on forever below, all given to my view, heart and eyes stretching to take in all the vastness

and like gazing at a tiny flower with its bright and gorgeous petals, fuzzy center, glistening stamen, focused concentration with fascination at its perfection.

for you are at once infinitely great and precisely perfect

It will be like the sound of great, sweet music, as when a mighty choir joins with flawless harmony in joyful songs; like the thrilling, dance-calling melodies of fiddles and flutes, and the songs of birds and the laughter of children, and the terrifying rumble of thunder, like those certain lovely chords of instrument or voice that strike the soul beyond the ear and make it swell with yearning

and it will be like the utter silence of a winter evening, when snow lies white and sparkling cold beneath the silver moonlight, or of a solemn, empty chapel - that awesome quietness

both the sounds and the silences are echoes of you, my Maker - oh to hear your voice!

It will be like coming home, with all the fondness of belonging and precious long familiarity - for you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations - you are the true father, brother, friend of whom all earthly relations are but ever-faulty pictures.

and it will be like stepping onto a far distant dream-shore, filled with new sights, sounds and smells that dazzle and delight the senses - for you are beyond imagination

like dearest home and wildest dream, both for which my heart does ache with longing - so shall your presence be to me.

And my soul shall be satisfied with you, as when my earthly tongue is satisfied with the first nectar-dripping bite of summer's sweet fruit, or with thick sliced bread, spread warm with butter, or with the coolness of water or the savor of fresh-salted meat, well roasted

Yet it will also be like the all-distracting hunger that comes when I am famished, and am allured by a delicious scent
for you shall be so lovely to my soul that I shall with one glimpse be more satisfied than ever I was before, yet at the same time more famished than ever before, longing for a million, trillion centuries more to taste the sweetness of yourself, and - what joy - I shall not as with earthly food grow full and heavy with those things on which I feed, but will grow ever and ever with capacities for continual satisfaction in you and continual hunger for more of you. Sweet hope - oh my soul taste this past the shadowy crumbs that thrill your earthly tongue.

Why, Lord Jesus, do I so oft forget that all earth's gifts are echoes, shadows, flickers of your self, your sweet majesty, Maker and Redeemer of all - oh why do I forget? Ever hold before my eyes the promise that my life is hid in you and that my one glad end is to behold you and be like you. I would eagerly await Your coming - You who are my all in all.

Yet I must stop, consider how it is that I who long despised you, rebelled against your rightful rule, loved self and the fast-rotting pleasures of sin and was utterly damnable for all my evils, whorings, idol-worship - how is it that I should be brought to expect the enjoyment of eternal pleasures at your right hand.

For I - Lord Jesus!...now I weep - I think on what I did deserve and all those mercy-given foretastes of what it is like to be separated from you.

It would be like the aching loneliness of being left out, as when all the children are laughing together in their play and I am seated alone to the side because they do not know me or care for my company, or as when the family is gathered around the fragrant dinner table and I lie sick abed in the next room, unable to rise or to partake in the meal because of my sickness.

and it will be like the squeezing terror of being trapped in a dark closet, hot and stifling with no one in the house to hear my bangings, cryings and open the door, and like being submerged too long in water, longing for air and fearing to drown, not breathing, lungs bursting, burning anguish…

like being both alienated outside and trapped inside will it be to be separated from you

Oh my anguish! I cannot write these things - they are too painful!

Yet these are tastes of what my sin deserved. How is it now that I am brought to hope in you, expect a joyful end?

For though you are altogether lovely, perfect, beloved by God the Father and one with Him, and had enjoyed from all eternity a whole and perfect fellowship that outshines all precious earthly ties. And though you had created us to reflect, enjoy your glory in a small but lovely way, as you had always done with your Father in a great and lovely way, we utterly despised this blessed purpose and sought to be our own god…insulted, despised, rejected, hated you - we wanted nothing of you, and how just you would have been to give us what we wanted, now and forever - separation from you. It was not only what we blindly sought, but all we deserved. Justice demanded that our crime receive its payment.

…Were you not happy in the bosom of the Father, Lord Jesus?

…Were you not content to forever behold His face, without us?

…Were you not free to damn us and uphold the glory we’d disdained?

…Were you not happy? Were you not free?

Why then, why - this garb of naked infant flesh, this holy, yet humiliating human life, this bearing of a bloody cross - and the cry “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”?

Forsaken by the Father? No!!! The horror is too dark for words. It was our rebellion that cried for separation from God. We did not care! We did not know what we had forfeited! We deserved the hellish darkness, lonely burning. Not you, Lord Jesus, not you, who knew and loved the Father, were known and loved by Him.

But here, forsaken altogether, you bore our sin - rebellion, idol-worship - all that deserved to be cast out of God’s presence you became, and thus you were cut off from His presence yourself…

…That we might be saved.

Jesus!

When I think upon the sweet hope of your coming and all the foretastes given me by grace, let me not forget how dearly these were purchased for me.

Remind me of the loveliness of your humiliation and the greatness of your sacrifice.

And this, Lord Jesus, in itself - that you are the Lamb slain for my sin - is the one thing that will make you loveliest of all before my blood-bought, wondering eyes on the day you come.

My love, I long to stand before you, trembling, smiling, hearing the voice that thrills my heart beyond all others say, "Enter into the joy of your Lord."

giving advice to my deceitful heart regarding its prayers:

2008-10-03T15:28:00.006-05:00

Do not presume to counsel the One who has all knowledge. Though you plead your case before Him, do not consider it His wisdom to precisely comply with you, nor count your desires more sovereign than His. Is He not God? Does He not do as he pleases in the heavens and on the earth?
And yet, He has told you to pray - as a means for accomplishing His will....did you begin to think there was any other purpose for prayer?

Let not your prayers be the cries of a revolutionary in the streets, or the whisperings of a counselor sidling behind the throne, but the requests of a loyal subject bowing before the King, who delights in nothing so much as in seeing the will of the King be done.

"knowing the real"

2008-09-27T08:52:00.003-05:00

... notable thoughts from Scott Crider on the value of knowledge:

"All liberal arts, in both the sciences and the humanities, are animated by the fundamental human desire to know, the fulfillment of which is a good, even if it provides no economic or political benefit whatsoever. An education for economic productivity and political utility alone is an education for slaves, but an education for finding, collecting, and communicating reality is an education for free people, people free to know what is so Remember knowing the real is a good before it is a power."

- Scott F. Crider, The Office of Assertion

till sin be the sourest and Christ the sweetest

2008-09-06T20:22:00.002-05:00

There is a dangerous slighting of the work of humiliation, some alleging this for a pretence for their casual dealing with their own hearts, that Christ will not break the bruised reed; but such must know that every sudden terror and short grief is not that which makes us bruised reeds; not a little `bowing down our heads like a bulrush' (Isa. 58:5), but a working our hearts to such a grief as will make sin more odious unto us than punishment, until we offer a `holy violence' against it. Else, favouring ourselves, we make work for God to bruise us, and for sharp repentance afterwards. It is dangerous, I confess, in some cases, with some spirits, to press too much and too long this bruising, because they may die under the wound and burden before they be raised up again. Therefore it is good in mixed assemblies to mingle comfort that every soul may have its due portion. But if we have this for a foundation truth, that there is more mercy in Christ than sin in us, there can be no danger in thorough dealing. It is better to go bruised to heaven than sound to hell. Therefore let us not take off ourselves too soon, nor pull off the plaster before the cure be wrought, but keep ourselves under this work till sin be the sourest, and Christ the sweetest, of all things.

- The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes

I would delight, o that I might - a new favorite hymn

2008-08-02T07:22:00.001-05:00

O Lord, I would delight in Thee
And on Thy care depend,
To Thee in every trouble flee,
My best, my only Friend.

When all created streams are dried,
Thy fullness is the same;
May I with this be satisfied
And glory in Thy Name.

No good in creatures can be found
But may be found in Thee;
I must have all things and abound
While God is God to me.

He who has made my heav'n secure
Willl here all good provide.
Can Christ be rich and I be poor?
What can I want beside?

O Lord, I cast my care on Thee,
I triumph and adore;
Henceforth my great concern shall be
To love and please Thee more.

- John Ryland, 1777

what is trustworthy

2008-07-01T20:32:00.002-05:00

"Circumstances often lie to us, and we cannot trust our feelings."
- C. J. Mahaney

It sounds like nothing profound, but it has resounded its clear note of truth in my mind again and again - a clear and forceful exhortation to believe nothing but the One whose word is truth, regardless of circumstances or feelings.

That word says,
"I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them." - Jer 32:4

and
"for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Rom 8:28

This word never lies.

that Name

2008-06-10T17:59:00.003-05:00

you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. - Mat. 1:21

Blessed be the Lord,
who daily bears us up;
God is our salvation - Psalm 68:19

Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one. While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost - John 17:11-12

... May the name of the God of Jacob protect you! - Psalm 20:1

Jesus
Long had I heard that holy Name adored
Repeated often in the gospel story
But now to know its meaning - 'tis the Lord
Who is salvation - this my hope and glory.
- AFC

The Promised Good

2008-05-31T20:44:00.003-05:00

Ought I believe, when dark my way,
That darkness also clouds that Love
To which I, hoping lone, did pray
And desperate sought a blessing of?

How could my gracious God deny
The pleadings of my longing heart?
And turn a deaf ear to the cry
For good of which I had no part?

Had He not pledged to do me good -
Yea, to delight to work for me?
To give to me my daily food -
And all I needed, graciously?

But that which I desired most dear
He gave not - love mysterious this,
That graciously refused to hear,
That he might me more deeply bless.

What sweet surprise to stumbling souls
Like mine, when through the dreary sky,
The brilliant sun shines forth and rolls
The clouds away, and shadows fly.

And what till now seemed vain, seems best
And I, with shame-mixed joy, perceive
That I had naught to do, but rest
In God whose promise I believe.

His promise had not failed - ‘twas I
That asked amiss and foolishly
My God, with purpose deep and high,
Withheld what would bring misery.

Bold, laughingly, I now may tread
The paths to come, remembering still
That God who gives His children bread
Has good toward them set in His will.

Doubt not, my soul, when dark your road
And guiding light is long denied
Remembering, believe your God
Who hitherto has all supplied.

From hour to hour your mortal days
Shall given be by wisdom kind.
Your God rules over all your ways
You He shall cause right paths to find.

A helper He has been to you
He changes not, therefore He shall
Again prove all His pledges true
And work in ways you could not tell.

Remember, oh remember this -
That God is good and He is wise,
And though it seems you've blessing missed,
In days to come, you’ll realize.

That once again, His providence
Has worked in sweet, mysterious ways
He hitherto has helped, and hence
He’ll be your help through all your days.

- May 31, 2008

Edwards thoughts on the gift of the Holy Spirit

2008-05-31T09:08:00.004-05:00

Listening to Jonathan Edward's Religious Affections last night, I found these words on the Holy Spirit a beautiful consideration, since I'd never before thought in this way about God's gift of the Spirit to believers:

For so are things constituted in the affair of our redemption that the Father provides the Saviour, or purchaser, and the purchase is made of him; and the Son is the purchaser and the price; and the Holy Spirit is the great blessing or inheritance purchased as is intimated, Gal. 3:13-14, and hence the Spirit often is spoken of as the sum of the blessings promised in the gospel, Luke 24:49, Acts 1:4 and ch. 2:38, 39, Gal. 3:14, Eph. 1:13. This inheritance was the grand legacy that Christ left his disciples and his church, in his last will and testament, John, ch. 14, 15, 16. This is the sum of the blessings of eternal life, which shall be given in heaven. (Compare John 7: 37, 38, 39 and 4:14 with Rev. 21: 6 and 22:1, 17) It is through the vital communications and indwelling of the Spirit that the saints have all their light, life, holiness, beauty and joy in heaven; and it is through the vital communications and indwelling of the same Spirit that the saints have all light, life, holiness, beauty and comfort on earth; but only communicated in less measure. And this vital indwelling of the Spirit in the saints, in this less measure and small beginning is "the earnest of the Spirit, the earnest of the future inheritance, and the first fruits of the Spirit...

love Him or die

2008-05-28T20:29:00.003-05:00

I must love Christ or my soul will die.

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me....If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.
... As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love."

Loving Christ is not my option; it is my life. Ought I not then tremble when my love for Him grows dim or cold? Ought I not cry out for mercy lest I die?

Thanks be to God that the Word which commands "Keep yourselves in the love of God" is addressed to those who are "kept by Jesus Christ" and promises that nothing "can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Prayer of the Deficient Heart

2008-05-16T15:27:00.003-05:00

“Therefore love truth and peace” - Zechariah 8:19

O Righteous God, who art enthroned on high
Yet lookest down to search man’s heart and mind,
Thou seest my heart-spring - is it vile and dry?
Show me, that I may know what Thou dost find.

I would not be deceived of what I love
Nor, after claiming Christ my highest prize,
Find mine affections seated not above,
But set on things that fill the earthly eyes.

I fear, lest after my truth-loving claims,
That I might love, not truth, but love the pride
Of knowing rightly; that my stated aims
To honor God, are outward, not inside.

Thou lovest peace, my God who loveth best
And thou didst tell us earnestly to seek
For peace, and it pursue - but lo, I rest
From this pursuit so quickly, grow so weak.

Because I love not peace, but am content
To seek instead of peace, what self desired,
And idly live with turmoil and dissent,
Because I grudge the sacrifice required.

Oh, do I love Thee Lord? Oh, do I long
For Thee, and burn for holiness like Thine?
Seek what Thou seekest with an ardor strong?
If this be not my passion, make it mine!

If dim, diverted my heart’s vision be
And clouded with hypocrisy - then thou
Alone canst wake my heart that I may see,
And love Thy glory and pursue it now.

The psalmist prayed, “Search me O God and know
My heart and anxious thoughts and hidden sin
Oh try me for offensive ways, and show
The way eternal, lead Thou me therein.”

Thus Lord I ask Thee by Thy pow’r to do
For this weak child of Thine, so prone to stray
Give unto me a heart sincere and true.
For Thine own sake, through Jesus Christ, I pray

Prayer II - all my want

2008-05-13T06:34:00.002-05:00

Grant, oh Thou my Lord

That when all my wants are supplied

And petitions answered

And desires fulfilled

That I may not cease to pray

Or neglect to seek Thy presence

Or lose care to draw near Thee

That I may not grow full and forget Thee

But continue to cry out to Thee

Not for temporal wants

Or earthly desires

Or anything outside Thyself that Thou wouldst give me

But for Thyself

That I may see and know more of Thee

That I may walk more closely with Thee

And be holy as Thou art holy.

What greater thing, my Lord, can Thy grace give me -

What fuller overflow of fullness canst Thou pour out

Upon my soul

Than Thy own fullness, sweetness, goodness

Might and mercy?

Oh pillar of cloud and flame that leads me day and night

Thou art the rock that goeth with me, quenching thirst

And manna, heaven-sent to feed my soul

Thy mighty, saving joy doth flow like milk and honey

Thy power doth conquer all my foes.

Oh Christ, who ever meets my need,

In every wilderness

And in green valleys,

When I am brought to feel no wants,

Grant me never to forget that Thou Thyself art all to me.

A Widow for Three Days

2008-03-08T19:39:00.005-05:00

"Thus says the Lord:
“Where is your mother's certificate of divorce,
with which I sent her away?
Or which of my creditors is it
to whom I have sold you?
Behold, for your iniquities you were sold,
and for your transgressions your mother was sent away."
- Isaiah 50:1

"“If a man divorces his wife
and she goes from him
and becomes another man's wife,
will he return to her?
Would not that land be greatly polluted?
You have played the whore with many lovers;
and would you return to me?
declares the Lord.
- Jeremiah 3:1

"Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead..." - Romans 7:1-4

I saw more clearly today yet another reason for the death of Christ.
Israel was in spiritual adultery and had broken the covenant with God her Husband.
And could he take her back? Would not His righteousness be defiled? He held it not righteous for men He had created to take a divorced as a bride. How then, could the bride of Christ be a divorced woman? But the church stood as a divorced woman. She had broken the first covenant; she was an adulteress - ruined among her worthless lovers. And while her husband lived she could not remarry. Therefore, she must be made a widow.

And so her estranged Husband took on flesh, that he might die.
She had broken the old covenant, and so He did away with it...

"This cup is the new covenant in my blood"

And the church was three days a widow.

Then He arose. Israel's husband had died that she might belong to another - to Him who was raised from the dead. He was delivered to death for her sins and raised to life for her justification....and He entered into a new covenant with her.

The marriage awaits. It will be between two who died as one to a broken Old Covenant and live to be forever united under a better New Covenant.

And the rest is too precious for words...

...how shall I fight?

2008-03-03T19:34:00.004-05:00

How shall I overcome weakness and sin and fleshly tendencies? How shall I be enabled to do what is truly good for my soul?

I saw the answer this afternoon as I readied for supper:

Not by willpower, but by superior satisfaction!

I realized that true victory over habits of the flesh does not come by reminding myself that I "ought not", but by reminding myself that I need not, because I have Christ, because I was a child of wrath and darkness, but am now am counted among the beloved of God, because I have been justified by faith and have peace with God through Jesus Christ, through whom I have obtained access by faith into the grace in which I stand. And I rejoice in hope of the glory of God (Rom. 5)... and do I need to go there, to gaze there, to say that?... Why should I?

And here is one example of that heavenly bread with which the soul can be satisfied. I have fed on it many times to day and been strengthened:

“I will give thanks to you, O Lord,
for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
that you might comfort me."
- Isaiah 12:1 ESV

To be taken from under divine wrath to divine love...this is altogether enough.

Comfortable or Useful?

2008-03-01T14:48:00.003-05:00

What would I ask? That I might be at ease, or that I might do good?

The place where I am most comfortable is not always the place where I am most useful.

And I shall not want comfort of soul, for Christ is mine.
I am comforted to be His loved by Him.
I am comforted to be placed here by Him.
I am comforted to be under His sanctifying work and to be a means of it to others.
I am comforted in hope of sharing His eternal rest after the tossing about has passed, knowing that all trials prepare all God's people for this great happy end.

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you....
We do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." - 2 Corinthians 4, ESV

"...let me hear it"

2008-01-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice; let me hear it.

SHE

Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices.

- Song of Solomon 8:13-14

Here Christ beckons His beloved to let Him hear her voice. She is in the garden, where they have before communed. It is a good place; she is with companions, and here their fellowship is sweet. But Christ desires the believer to call out to Him, to speak to Him. Hear how winsome are His words: O you who dwell in the gardens, let me hear your voice. How often would he bid us come away from our companions and speak to Him alone. He longs to hear His beloved’s voice. Oh believer! Does this not kindle holy warmth within your soul? Christ would hear my voice! His heart melts with love and longing for me! Would that we would ever cry, “Jesus, make haste to come to me!” Would that we might ever long for His presence as He does for ours!

The bride hears her Beloved, and her heart is stirred. Can you not see her in the garden? She hears the sweet command: “let me hear it” and turns to hasten to the clearing at the garden’s edge that looks toward the mountains. Across the valley she calls: “Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spice.”

Here ends the book of Solomon’s song, leaving the church where she ought to be, crying out to Jesus to come quickly - by His Spirit to commune with us now, and in His person to gather us to His presence forever.

Thus also ends the book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ: “He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming soon."

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” - Rev. 22:20

Do Thou for Me

2008-01-18T18:40:00.000-05:00

"Do Thou for me, O God the Lord,
Do Thou for me;
I need not toil to find the word
That carefully
Unfolds my prayer and offers it,
My God, to Thee.

It is enough that Thou wilt do,
And will not tire,
Will lead by cloud, all the night through
By light of fire,
Till Thou hast perfected in me
Thy Heart's desire.

O blessed be the love that bears
The burden now,
The love that frames our very prayers,
Well knowing how
To coin our gold; O God the Lord,
Do Thou, do Thou."

- Amy Carmichael

"But do thou for me, O GOD the Lord for thy name's sake"
- Psalm 109:21

Prayer I - filling the temple

2008-01-05T14:00:00.001-05:00

Lord Jesus,
who was seen of old by the prophet Isaiah,
continually blessed by the mighty seraphim
hailed as "Holy, holy, holy"
Be Thou enthroned within my heart
high and lifted up
that thou might reign supreme
in my affections, my will, my desires
And let the train of Thy robe
fill this temple
that naught else may dwell within
Thus, Lord Jesus,
holy Lord of hosts,
let my whole being be filled with Thy glory

"On My Heart" - The Song

2008-01-03T21:03:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd post the song from which the title of my previous post was quoted. It's a beautiful prayer - quite short, but spiritually rich:

"On my heart imprint Thine image,
Blessèd Jesus, King of Grace,
That life’s riches, cares and pleasures
Have no power Thee to efface.
This the superscription be:
Jesus, crucified for me,
Is my Life, my hope’s Foundation,
And my Glory and Salvation."
- Thomas H. Kingo

Listen to the tune.
It might catch on and you can sing it all day long!

"On My Heart Imprint Thine Image"

2007-12-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Reading John Owen, I encountered these heart-pricking words:

Many love the world too well and have their minds too much filled with the things of it to entertain desires of speeding through it to a state wherein they may behold the glory of Christ. They are at home and are unwilling to be absent from the body, though to be present with the Lord. They hope, it may be, that such a season will come at one time or another, and then it will be the best they can look for when they can be here no more. But they have but a little sight of the glory of Christ in this world by faith, if any at all, who so little, so faintly desire to have the immediate sight of it above...Goods, lands, possessions, relations, trades, with secular interests in them, are the things whose image is drawn on their minds and whose characters are written on their foreheads, as the titles whereby they may be known. As believers, beholding the glory of Christ in the blessed glass of the gospel, are changed into the same image and likeness by the Spirit of the Lord (II Cor. 3:18); so these persons, beholding the beauty of the world and the things that are in it in the cursed glass of self-love, are in their minds changed into the same image. Hence perplexing fears, vain hopes, empty embraces of perishing things, fruitless desires, earthly, carnal designs, cursed, self-pleasing imaginations, feeding on, and being fed by, the love of the world and self, abide and prevail in them. But we have not so learned Christ Jesus.

I fear that I saw a dreadful amount of myself in these lines. Oh how prone I am to idolatry and to wandering from Jesus' bosom. God remove this cursed inclination from my soul and give me more love for Christ!

to keep humble

2007-12-08T12:29:00.000-05:00

"When we measure ourselves by the life of our Lord who humbled himself even to death on a cross, we cannot but be overwhelmed by the tawdriness and shabbiness, and even the vileness of our hearts." - J. Oswald Sanders

Here is another reason to be reading the gospels - to keep humble. Have I forgotten how grand He is - my Jesus - and how poor I am?

I must be looking unto Jesus - indeed to persevere in laying hold of Him and to joy in His sufficiency and to love His loveliness, but also - that I may realize His greatness, and be humbled.

"Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession," - Hebrews 3:1 ESV

I Would Be Here

2007-12-01T20:03:00.000-05:00

While reading a book for homework I came upon this prayer taken from the Valley of Vision - a collection of puritan devotions. I remembered reading it before, but it encouraged my heart afresh amidst weariness:

...Lord, it is my chief design to bring my heart back to thee.
Convince me that I cannot be my own God,
or make myself happy,
nor my own Christ to restore my joy,
nor my own Spirit to teach, guide, rule me.
Help me to see that grace does this by providential affliction,
for when my credit is good thou dost cast me lower,
when riches are my idol thou dost wing them away,
when pleasure is my all thou dost turn it into bitterness.
Take away my roving eye, curious ear, greedy appetite, lustful heart;
show me that none of these things can heal a wounded conscience,
or support a tottering frame,
or uphold a departing spirit.
Then take me to the cross
and leave me there.

Christ has died for me and I have died with Him; Christ is raised, and Christ will soon come to gather me to Himself. Christ crucified and raised is mine. This is reality; this is all that must satisfy my soul.

"Then take me to the cross and leave me there."

As If Thou Wast Not Enough

2007-10-26T05:59:00.001-05:00

My God,
Let me ask nothing of Thee
as if Thou wast not enough
as if Thou must give to me
something outside Thyself
to satisfy my soul.
Let me first and only ask
that I may know Thee.
Then give me what Thou wilt
But oh, the fullness, the fullness of joy
Is in Thee, my God,
In nothing else but Thee.

Only This!

2007-10-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

"What can wash away my sins?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

I have sung those words many times, but recently the weight of them fell upon my soul in a greater way. Yes, how wonderful it is to have salvation from my sins! But to see the price of this salvation is a great and terrible thing. The "little" sins that I commit each day are no trifle with God. First John 1:9 -"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgives us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" - is not a given. It came at a great price - the blood of God's Son. Oh the horror of sin that God's Son must die to cleanse it - that nothing else would work!

"Ye who think of sin but lightly,
Nor suppose the evil great
Here may view its nature rightly,
Here its guilt may estimate
Mark the sacrifice appointed
See who bears the awful load
'Tis the Word, the Lord's anointed,
Son of man and Son of God."
- Thomas Kelly

This makes our God and Savior very precious - seeing that He shed blood for us, because nothing else could save us.

"you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ"
- 1 Peter 1:18-19 ESV

In Need of Grace

2007-10-02T21:12:00.001-05:00

Lord grant us grace,

for the grace lies with you

and with us lies the need.

" Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help in time of need."
- Hebrews 4:16 ESV

Where shall I go?

2007-09-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

"Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

"If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me."

~ ~ ~

Psalm 139:7-10 ESV

~ ~ ~

"...behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
- Matthew 28:20 ESV

Contented

2007-08-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

Those who wait upon the Lord with perfect trust are perfectly free.

Here lies contentment - that He who did not spare His Son for us - shall He not also along with Him, graciously give us all things?

Shall our Father with-hold from us anything good? No, never.

Believing this, there is no fretting, no sighing after what He has presently with-held.
Only freedom to joyfully toss all of our cares on Him and live for His glory. He shall work for me as I wait for Him.

This is where I would always be.

"He who hitherto hath fed me
And to many joys hath led me,
Is and ever shall be mine.
He who did so gently school me,
He who still doth guide and rule me,
Will remain my help divine.

"Well He knows what best to grant me;
All the longing hopes that haunt me,
Joy and sorrow, have their day.
I shall doubt His wisdom never, -
As God wills, so be it ever, -
I to Him commit my way."

- Author Unknown, tr. Catherine Winkworth

With an Everlasting Love

2007-08-13T10:47:00.000-05:00

What truth is sweet and precious to the believing soul - on bright days and on dull days, when abounding with joy or when near despair?

"I have loved thee with an everlasting love:
therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."
- Jeremiah 31:3

Lord? Thou hast loved me before I knew thee? Yea, Thou hast loved me before I was!

Of Thy love that chose me, I am Thine.
And of Thy loved that shed blood to purchase me, I am Thine.
And of Thy love that hast drawn me, I am Thine.

This cord of three strands is not easily broken.

What can separate me from Thy love?

Those predestined Thou hast called
those called Thou hast justified
those justified Thou hast glorified.

And not even death shall separate me and Thee.

"Loved with everlasting love

Led by grace that love to know

Gracious Spirit from above

Thou hast taught me it is so.

Oh this full and perfect peace!

Oh this transport all divine!

In a love which cannot cease,

I am His and He is mine."

- George W. Robinson

"...he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,

that we should be holy and blameless before him.

In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ,

according to the purpose of his will,

to the praise of his glorious grace,

with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."

- Eph. 1:4-6 ESV

An Amazing Statement

2007-07-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

I was listening the other day to a sermon by Paul Washer, and this statement that he quoted from A.W. Tozer shot out of the laptop speaker and plunged into my heart,

"I can tell how much of God you have by how much entertainment you need."

That is one of the most profound statements, outside of the Bible, that I have ever heard.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Is that enough? That God IS - is that enough? Is it good enough that as long as God IS, anyone who is His need never be - not only never frightened, never worried, never bitter, never lonely - but never bored?

This statement has opened doors of understanding for me. Why, in moments of rest, or engagement in dull duties, did I hunger for something to amuse me? Because I was not satisfied in God. If, with the eyes of my heart, I am looking unto the Beloved Savior, delighting in all that he is, why should I be bored?

There is a difference between freely engaging in wholesome amusement with a God-glorifying purpose, and the restless hunger to be amused. The latter is for worldlings and children, not for God's own.

Next time the desire to fill my empty heart with entertainment comes, how about this -

"Jesus, Savior, come to me;
Let me ever be with Thee,
Come and nevermore depart,
Thou who reignest in my heart.

Lord, for Thee I ever sigh,
Nothing else can satisfy.
Ever do I cry to Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, come to Me!

Earthly joys can give no peace,
Cannot bid my longing cease;
Still to have my Jesus near,
This is all my pleasure here."

by Johann Scheffler, 1657-1677
Translated by Matthias Loy, 1828-1915

His Face

2007-07-03T18:32:00.000-05:00

I love reading through the Old Testament and New Testament at the same time. There is a richness that comes from seeing more angles of God's redemption plan at one time. Like these two passages:

Exodus 33:19-20 - Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”

This is the LORD the everlasting God.
One day God became flesh. Jesus. He had a human face. He came to humble himself and die. But how absolutely stunning the second text is in light of the first.

"And the high priest said to him[Jesus], “I adjure you by the living God, tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God.” Jesus said to him, “You have said so. But I tell you, from now on you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power and coming on the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest tore his robes and said, “He has uttered blasphemy. What further witnesses do we need? You have now heard his blasphemy. What is your judgment?” They answered, “He deserves death.” Then they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him, saying, “Prophesy to us, you Christ! Who is it that struck you?” - Matthew 26:63-67 ESV

This is incredible. Jesus is not separate from the God of the Old Testament - He is one and the same. How great was the condescension in what Jesus the Son of God did to pay for our wrong-doing!

who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him..." - Philippians 2:6-9 ESV

Seeing and Being

2007-06-26T15:53:00.000-05:00

"Man becomes that which he gazes upon"

- George Harrison

I like that statement because it really is true. It's biblical -

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." - 2 Cor. 3:18 ESV

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." - 1 John 3:2 ESV

That's the positive aspect of this truth - beholdingJesus, we become like him. It is also true in the negative aspect. Those who make idols and look to them become like them (Ps. 115:4-8)

But oh, to be always looking unto Jesus and reflecting his glory!

Now, what am I looking at?

We fight...

2007-06-15T16:45:00.000-05:00

With thanksgiving we fight

In the soul's bitter night

And we battle dark forces with song.

~ ~ ~

Lust gives way to loving

And fears fall to trusting

As gratitude proves itself strong.

~ ~ ~

"And be thankful."

- Colossians 3:15

If it pleaseth Him...

2007-06-12T14:06:00.000-05:00

Sovereign Lord, may this

My heart-song be:

If it pleaseth Thee

It pleaseth me.

"...that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,

what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Romans 12:2 ESV

To be Holy

2007-06-11T19:41:00.000-05:00

Oh to be holy as Jesus is holy. To be pure as He is pure. How happy are the pure in heart - they shall see God!

Yet Jesus also said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" I have so little holiness, but I am poor. I have so little righteousness, but I hunger and thirst for righteousness - and Jesus said I shall be filled. I am not worthy of this divine gift - poverty and hunger - yes, a gift. An imagined wealth and fullness that end in desolation are all I deserve, and all I would have without grace. But he has given me to know my poverty, that I may come to Him who is altogether full of love and purity and holiness. Blessed grace of Jesus!

Holy, holy, holy is the everlasting God almighty - He is the one - He, HE is the one who began a good work in me and will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. I need not despair. This is the will of God - our sanctification - and the will of God shall be done. I need not despair. He who is holy, holy, holy shall make me holy someday, all because of Jesus. Jesus was delivered to death for my trespasses and raised for my justification. One day He will come and put all things under His control and all we His own shall be like Him - perfect in holiness.

My soul and spirit are weak today. But if weakness is what it takes to make me lean on Jesus, long for Jesus, then let me always be weak - that I may find Him strong.

"...he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."- 2 Cor. 12:9 ESV

Let all who love the Lord cry out for more holiness. "Oh come quickly Lord Jesus!"

Our soul waits for the Lord;he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him,because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,even as we hope in you.

- Psalm 33:20-22

I Ask Thee...

2007-05-29T18:54:00.000-05:00

...blind my eyes to earthly riches

by the brightness of the coming reward.

"He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."

- Hebrews 11:26 ESV

What Ought to Make the Heart Beat

2007-05-18T17:32:00.000-05:00

On Revive our Hearts radio today, Nancy Demoss shared this statement from Oswald Chambers that really leaped out at me:

"Our circumstances are the means of manifesting how wonderfully perfect and extraordinarily pure the Son of God is. The thing that ought to make the heart beat is a new way of manifesting the Son of God.”

That means any opportunity to do right is a cause to rejoice that I can manifest the mighty purity of the spirit of Christ dwelling in me. Anything that shows my own weakness or dependency on Christ is a cause to rejoice that I can manifest His power. If anything I cherished is taken from me, it is a cause to rejoice that I might demonstrate His superior value. For those united to Jesus by faith, all of life is about manifesting His superiority. That's what should make us excited, what should make our heart beat. Even if it means less of something - less of comfort, less of ease, less of reputation, less of strength, the important thing is that it is more, more, more of Jesus seen. May God make this our hearts' desire.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

"Having given them grace, I will give them a crown."

2007-05-15T15:10:00.000-05:00

After "consuming" quite a number of Charles Spurgeon's sermons, I finally decided to read his biography, and found this quote simply encouraging,

"I think how surprised some of God's people will be" he exclaims, "when they get to heaven. They will see the Master and He will give them a crown.
'Lord, what is this crown for?'
'That is because thou didst give a cup of cold water to one of my disciples.'
'What, a crown for a cup of cold water?'
'Yes,' says the Master, 'that is how I pay my servants. First I give them grace to give the cup of water, and then, having given them grace, I will give them a crown.''"

- from Charles Spurgeon - London's Most Popular Preacher by W.Y. Fullerton

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. - Eph. 2:8-10 ESV

Opportunities to Die

2007-05-08T17:18:00.000-05:00

In my notebook I found this short line that I copied from Amy Carmichael's biography.* I am still finding it true:

"'Home with all its prohibitions and opportunities to die daily.'"

Maybe it sounds negative. There are so many good things about home. But wait - this is one of them. This is one of the good things about home: opportunities to die daily. Daily dwelling with other imperfect people is something God uses to sanctify me. The wait outside the bathroom door, the dirty shoes on the rug, the instrument being practiced while I'm trying to study - these are the nitty gritty parts of home-life. But they are chances to die, to look not only to my own interests but also to the interests of others, to lay down my life for my brothers. Everything can't always be the way I want it, and that's actually good. When I see dirty shoes on the rug, I can mentally take them up like a sword, and instead of pricking the negligent "culprit" with it, I can turn it on my sin nature and plunge it to the hilt whispering - "Die! Die old self that loves clean carpets more than Jesus. Die!" (I am not saying that such things should not be corrected, but sisterly nagging is not the loving way.) And in those moments, I am amazed at the rebellious strength of my old nature. I feel it kicking, screaming inside me, "No don't kill me, you'll be so much happier if you turn and nag them." Sometimes I have listened to its pleading, and let it spring back up and do its thing, and I lose the chance to die and the chance to show love. But I want to die more often so I can say this in truth:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Gal. 2:20 ESV

* A Chance to Die - the life and legacy of Amy Carmichael, by Elisabeth Elliot

"Gratitude Becomes Us"

2007-04-24T18:17:00.000-05:00

I appreciated this statement from Charles Spurgeon's sermon entitled "Unconditional Surrender". It's what I needed to hear when I was a younger teenager who was rather ungrateful for the way God made me, the things I had and the family I was born into. (And what I need to hear now too!):

"Have you accepted your position in the scale of worldly wealth? Are you satisfied to be sickly, obscure or of small ability? Are God's appointments your contentments? Too many professors [professing believers] are quarreling with God that they are not other than they are. This is evil, and shows that pride is still in their hearts, for were they conscious of their own deserts they would know that anything short of hell is more than we deserve, and as long as we are not in the pit of torment gratitude becomes us."

If only I always realized how unworthy I am - I should never complain. To think of what manner of love the Father has given to us that we should be called children of God! He has given us so much! And the things we don't understand, the things that are hard, He has designed with love far greater than we can imagine. Ingratitude from the redeemed is unfitting. Gratitude becomes us.

"Submit yourselves therefore to God"
- James 4:7 ESV

Love is...

2007-03-30T16:10:00.000-05:00

Love is the
active desire for the
well-being and joy
of others.

"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

- 1 John 3:18 ESV

It's Spring!

2007-03-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

Spring is here, and gloriously so. I haven't experienced spring in four years and am truly loving every bit of it. The sunshine, the birds singing, the spring flowers - but there are still all these crusty old piles of half-melted snow lying around looking like they ought to be done away with.

I was thinking about it the other day and realized that this is kind of like my life. God has awakened my soul and there is life. Christ lives in me - to think! There are rays of light and grace shining and warming my soul but there are these crusty old sin-habits lying around, looking uglier as time goes by. Oh for more light and heat to melt them! I wanted to do away with those crusty snow heaps and by God's grace I want to do away with my crusty old will and sit in the light of His love till there are fewer and fewer piles of slush, and more and more snowdrops in my soul.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." - 2 Cor. 3:18 ESV

"Herein is Love" - Thoughts from Spurgeon

2007-03-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

The other day I borrowed Humility and How to Get It - by Charles Spurgeon from our church library. (Humility is something I dearly need more of.) The book is a collection of Spurgeon's sermons, many on humility. The first sermon, however, is on love. I appreciated one of Spurgeon's colorful illustrations:

I am looking for "the springs of the sea," and you point me to a little pool amid the rocks which has been filled by the flowing tide. I am glad to see that pool: how bright! how blue! how like the sea from whence it came! But do not point to this as the source of the great waterfloods; for if you do I shall smile at your childish ignorance, and point you to yon great rolling main which tosses its waves on high. What is your little pool to the vast Atlantic? Do you point me to the love in the believer's heart, and say, "Herein is love!" You make me smile. I know that there is love in that true heart; but who can mention it in the presence of the great rolling ocean of the love of God, without bottom and without shore? The word not is not only upon my lip but in my heart as I think of the two things, "NOT that we loved God, but that God loved us." What poor love ours is at its very best when compared with the love wherewith God loves us!...I do rejoice in the love of saints to their Lord. Yet this is but a streamlet; the unfathomable deep, the eternal souce from which all love proceeds, infinitely exceeds all human affection, and it is found in God, and in God alone.

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins."
- 1 John 4:10 ESV

"...all wintertime so long as the Savior is away."

2007-02-21T21:02:00.000-05:00

It is winter, but today we had 48 degrees and a thrilling trickle of melting snow that said "spring! spring!" Nevertheless, it will get colder again.

My longing for spring reminded me of this wonderful passage from the Memoirs of Robert Murray McCheyne that I read awhile ago.

"In spiritual thing, this world is all wintertime so long as the Savior is away. To them that are in Christ there are some sweet glistenings of his countenance, there are meltings of his love, and the sweet song of the turtledove when His Holy Spirit dwells in the bosom; still it is but wintertime till our Lord shall come. But then, 'to you that fear his name, shall the Sun of Righteousness arise with healing in his wings.' And if before He comes we should go away to be where He is, still we shall enter into a world of perpetual summer - we shall behold His glory which the Father gave Him. "- Robert Murray McCheyne

To live by faith

2007-02-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

These words about Moses from Hebrews 11 have been my meditation during the past few days:

"He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible." Heb. 11:26-27 ESV

"looking to the reward" and "seeing him who is invisible" That is living by faith.
(Compare it to Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
and 11:6: "without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.")

When I read those awesome words, realizing in a fuller way what it means to live by faith, this question burned itself onto my mind:

How much of what I have done, or will do today, will be done because I am "looking to the reward"?
That is living by faith.

Oh, what this means! How faithless we are! We let the reward become so little to us. There have been times when a new recipe is more engaging to my heart than the ultimate, sweet, infinite, glorious, towering reward of standing joyfully in the presence of the I AM in His gloriously radiant divine manhood, who is my Redeemer, who has been my shield and will be my very great reward forever and ever and ever.... Lord, increase my faith! Oh to be one who does all things because HE IS and because He is the Rewarder of them that earnestly seek Him. Oh for eyes that see Him who is invisible before anything else in the world, and look to the reward.

Reading Henry Scougal - thoughts on true religion

2007-01-15T13:20:00.000-05:00

"forced and artificial religion is commonly heavy and languid, like the motion of a weight forced upward: it is cold and spiritless, like the uneasy compliance of a wife married against her will, who carries it dutifully toward the husband whom she doth not love, out of some sense of virtue or honor. Hence also this religion is scant and niggardly, especially in those duties which do greates violence to men's carnal inclinations, and those slavish spirits will be sure to do no more than is absolutely required ...they will ever be putting such glosses on it, as may leave themselves the greatest liberty: whereas the spirit of true reliegion is frank and liberal, far from such peevish and narrow reckoning; and he who hath given hiself entirely unto God, will never think he doth too much for him."

- from The Life of God in the Soul of Man by Rev. Henry Scougal (A book I bought from the book shop at Covenant Fellowship Church, where we visited two Sundays ago.)

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These thoughts exactly complimented the Scripture I read this morning, from Paul's letter to Philemon:

"I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord...Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say." - Philemon 1:14, 21 ESV

I want to be a person like that. It comes from having the love of God in me.

Surviving or Abounding?

2007-01-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

In the past days as we've finished off all the details of leaving Guyana and are trying to tackle all the details of getting adjusted to life back in the states, I have found myself living with a survival mindset. Of course some of that is necessary, but merely surviving is not the fullness of life that God desires for His children - He wants us to look not only to our own interests but also to the interests of others. Or, as I've been reading in Titus, He wants His people to abound in good works

"Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works"

"Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us...to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."

"Remind them...to be ready for every good work"

"I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works"

Good works do not commend me to God or atone for my sins - as Titus 3 says: "he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy"- but good works are the occupation of the redeemed, the proof of the divine nature indwelling me, the pathway of joy and blessing.

So my desire in these days is to focus not so much on getting my needs taken care of, but on doing the delightful will of God for His glory and the good of my fellow man. Thank God that He is the one who works in us both to will and to do His good pleasure.

All Scriptures from English Standard Version

Moving

2007-01-02T08:53:00.000-05:00

We are moving out. The house is jumbled and emptier by the hour. This picture was taken yesterday as we packed up all the kitchen stuff.

It was a tiring day after a late night New Year's Eve service. The thoughts from Robert Murray McCheyne, which are in my last post have come to mind many times over these past days, and I sing, "Oh, Jesus is a rock in a weary land... a shelter in the time of storm."

In a few hours, Lord-willing, the first installment of our family will be leaving to stay somewhere else until we fly on Friday. Strange days, tired days, busy days are just more days to take refuge in Jesus - the rock in a weary land, the shelter in the time of storm, the One who is the same yesterday, today and forever.

"The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

- Isaiah 40:28:31 ESV

2006-12-19T08:11:00.000-05:00

"You will never find Jesus so precious as when the world is one vast howling wilderness. Then He is like a rose blooming in the midst of the desolation, a rock rising above the storm."

- Robert Murray McCheyne

Accepted in the Beloved

2006-12-05T08:48:00.000-05:00

"The pure, full love of God streams through the blood and obedience of Jesus to every soul that is lying under them, however vile and wretched in themselves."

"See what Christ thinks of the believer: 'As the lily among thorns so is my love among the daughters.' The believer is like a lovely flower in the eyes of Christ, washed in His blood, as pure and white as a lily. Christ can see no spot in His own righteousness, and therefore He sees no spot on the believer."

"You have drawn the Savior's blood and righteousness over your souls, and you know that the Father himself loveth you." - Robert Murray McCheyne

~~~~~

"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - Revelation 1:5-6 ESV

Thoughts from Robert Murray McCheyne

2006-11-29T14:58:00.000-05:00

I have been immersed in one of the most wonderful humanly-authored books I've ever read - Memoirs of McCheyne - letters and messages of Robert Murray McCheyne who was born in Scotland in the early 1800's and died at the age of 29. Graced by God with an intensity of love for Jesus and hate for sin, his writings are filled with sweet and precious thoughts about Christ, from which I will be posting in the days ahead, if the Lord wills. Here are some of his thoughts on sin:

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"Learn much of your own heart; and when you have learned all you can, remember you have seen but a few yards into a pit that is unfathomable. 'The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?' (Jer. 17:9) Learn much of the Lord Jesus. For every look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely. Such infinite majesty and yet such meekness and grace, and all for sinners, even the chief!"

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"Clear conviction of sin is the only true origin of dependence on another's righteousness, and therefore (strange to say!) of the Christian's peace of mind and cheerfulness."

A Thanksgiving Thought from John Newton

2006-11-23T08:02:00.000-05:00

After the death of his dearly loved wife, John Newton said,

"I saw what , indeed, I knew before, but never till then so strongly and clearly perceived that , as a sinner, I had no right, and as a believer, I could have no reason to complain." - from Out of the Depths - John Newton's autobiography, compiled by Rev. R. Cecil

As a sinner, I don't deserve anything good, and have no right to complain.
As a believer, God has promised to work all things for my good, therefore I have no reason to complain - and much to be thankful for!

Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous, and give thanks to his holy name!

- Psalm 97:12 ESV

Another thought from John Newton

2006-11-18T07:53:00.000-05:00

"He used to improve every occurence which he could, with propriety, bring into the pulpit. One night he found a notice put up at St. Mary Woolnoth's upon which he commented a great deal when he came to preach. The notice was to this effect: 'A young man, having come to the possession of a very considerable fortune, desires the prayers of the congregation, that he may be preserved from the snares to which it exposes him.'

'Now if the man,' said Newton, 'had lost a fortune, the world would not have wondered to have seen him put up a notice, but this man has been better taught.'"

- John Newton-Out of the Depths - by Rev. R. Cecil

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"...if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." - 1 Timothy 6:8-10 ESV

Let Me Hide Myself in Thee

2006-11-13T19:50:00.000-05:00

Today we went on a trip to the beach. (By the way, don't picture some absolutely gorgeous tropical beach. Guyana beaches are mostly clayey brown sand and silty brown water, and garbage :-( But they do have some vestiges of beauty.) We had a quiet, relaxing time and traveled toward home in the glow of a brilliant mass of sunset clouds, silhouetting myriads of coconut trees. Driving on in the deepening dusk, we were all singing, "Rock of Ages" the last verse:

"While I draw this fleeting breath
When my eyes shall close in death
When I soar to worlds unknown
See thee on thy judgment throne"

- Augustus M. Toplady

There was something ahead of us. Daddy slowed to a stop as we saw a motorcycle laying on its side in the middle of the road and people gathered at the scene.

"Talk about 'soaring to world's unknown' I said, and pondered the helmet and stray motorcycle parts clustered by the road's edge.

As we passed by with a hymn and an accident stirring our hearts, we were sobered by the reality of life and death. "While I draw this fleeting breath," Daddy murmured. It's probable that the rider survived, but how quickly life can end if God wills to cut it short. How easily we forget that our life is brief, and our footsteps are ever treading the crumbling brink of eternity.

We never did finish the song; there were two more lines, and I thought about them as we traveled on.

"...When I soar to world's unknown
See Thee on Thy judgment throne
Rock of ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee."

Let me hide myself in Him! Jesus, the atoning sacrifice for my sins. Jesus, my righteousness in the sight of God. Jesus, the everlasting rock of my salvation.

"Nothing in my hand I bring
Simply to Thy cross I cling."

Jesus has borne my judgment, and in the day of judgment I shall be hid in Him. There is no wrath awaiting me at the edge of eternity, but only infinite love and infinite glory and entrance into the infinite joy of the Lord - because of Jesus. Thanks be to Him!

"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - Revelation 1:5b-6 ESV

Ever Faithful

2006-11-07T09:18:00.005-05:00

"What a comfortable thought is this to be a believer, to know that amid all the various interfering designs of men, the Lord has one constant design, which he cannot, will not miss, namely, His own glory in the complete salvation of His people; and that He is wise and strong and faithful, to make even those things which seem contrary to this design, subservient to it." - John Newton

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son... And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."
- Romans 8:28-30 ESV

In Him I Hope

2006-10-21T08:23:00.000-05:00

Oh God, to Thee I look; my soul
Is vile and void of virtue.
But Christ, but Christ's atoning work
Of righteousness for me is full.

In Thee I rest - a helpless thing
Having neither hands nor feet,
Nor strength, but weak, I fall -
And falling on Thee, soar with wings.
___________________

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you..."

- Psalm 39:7 ESV

The Mark of Wisdom

2006-10-16T10:55:00.000-05:00

The highest mark of wisdom is not the ability to speak of great and lofty things, or to eloquently tell others the things I know. No, the highest mark of wisdom is humility; it is submissiveness of spirit to God and others, that seeks advice, heeds good counsel and takes to heart reproof.

"Hear instruction and be wise
and do not neglect it."
- Proverbs 8:33 ESV

"The wise of heart will receive commandments..."
-Proverbs 10:8 ESV

Lessons from the Garden

2006-10-09T07:53:00.000-05:00

This morning was lovely. The thermometer barely touching 80. The sun clouded and to the west the blue sky spread with those high, clean, wispy clouds that come after a rain. The breeze coming softly over the river, wafting a fresh, woodsy exhilarating scent through the morning air.

A good morning to get some yardwork done. I got my pruning shears and went around cutting dead branches off plants. After I finished, I walked past my bouganvillea again and noticed a totally dead branch lying on top of the fence. Hmm.. must have cut it off awhile back and it didn't fall to the ground. I reached to take it off, but it wouldn't move, so I lifted up the branches and checked the end of the stem. It was still connected - at least it looked like it. That's strange... But when I pulled on it again, I realized that though the outer bark was connected, the inner fibers of the branch had been broken off long ago.

It made me think - about Jesus' words

"Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned." - John 15:5-6 ESV

It made me think - about the possibility of looking like abiding in Christ. It is possible to be disconnected from the life of Christ in the heart and yet maintain an outward semblance of it for a time. Outwardly the religious activity that accompanies true abiding in Christ is the same, but inwardly the connection is not there. It doesn't last. That dead branch was a sober reminder that it doesn't.

The importance of being in Christ is immense. To be really in Him, by faith, is what matters above all else. What good is it to maintain an appearance of being in Christ? It is of no value; it is even damnable. The disconnected branch may for a little while remain green, but it will dry up and be destined for burning.

But to be really in the vine, even if it means being pruned and for awhile not looking like much - to be really in Christ and He in me - that in time I may be "filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." (Philippians 1:11 ESV) ...is the greatest blessedness, for only in Christ will I bear good fruit, and bearing good fruit I shall be proven to be in Christ. Then my hope increases, and God is glorified.

"By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples." - John 15:8 ESV

The God we didn't know..

2006-10-07T07:25:00.000-05:00

When Layering Verses Doesn't Quite Work

(By the way, if anyone is wondering why in some of my posts I put NIV and others ESV, it's because my personal Bible is an NIV, which I am hoping to replace soon since its not a very good translation, and my favorite version is ESV)

The other morning I opened by Bible to 2 Samuel and my eyes lit on an underlined verse in 24:1

"Again the anger of the LORD burned against Israel, and he incited David against them, saying, 'Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.' NIV

Now that is amazing. It simply blows the box we pea-brained humans try to put God in. But there is something even more amazing - what the book of Chronicles says about the same event:

"Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel." - 1 Chronicles 21:1 NIV

Um, speaking of layering verses (see a previous post)...does this work?

I do not believe that the Bible contradicts itself, and certainly do not believe that God and Satan are one and the same! So what shall I think of this?

Interpret Scripture by Scripture.

In the account of Job, Satan asked God for permission to afflict Job's body...

..."And the Lord said to Satan, 'Behold, he is in your hand; only spare his life.'
So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes. Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”' Job 2:6-10 ESV

Now isn't Job supposed to say: "You are talking like a foolish woman - this is an attack of the enemy! Satan is the king of sickness and death. God is the great healer. Why do you want me to curse God, when this is obviously of Satan?"

But he didn't say that. He attributed it to God - Job, how dare you blame God?

No - the inspired author said this:

"In all this, Job did not sin with his lips" - Job 3:10 ESV

For every single action - whether of
fish, (Mat. 17:27, John 21:6, Jonah 1:17)
bird, (Mat. 10:29)
beast, (Gen. 7:9, Matt. 21:7)
insect (2 Chron. 7:13)
man, (Acts 16:14, 2 Sam. 24:1, Esther 6:1)
or Satan - God is behind it all. He is terrifyingly sovereign. Terrifying, that is, unless He's on my side. Consider this passage from Romans 8:

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:28-31 ESV

No one! Not even Satan. The God who preserved Job throughout the very afflictions that He allowed will preserve us His beloved children throughout every situation that He allows in our lives.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 ESV

Make me one who...

2006-09-30T17:24:00.000-05:00

My God, make me one

who cares not

what others think of me,

but what You think of me,

and what others think of You

because of me.
__________________________

"You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Cor. 6:19-20 ESV

Intoxicated with Holy Joy

2006-09-21T11:46:00.000-05:00

Layering verses is, I think, a good way to understand the Scriptures better. Take these two passages, which are quite similar:

“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, - Ephesians 5:18-20 ESV

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” – Colossians 3:16 ESV

Being filled with the Spirit, and being richly filled with the word of Christ are one and the same. The word is only effectual when accompanied by the Spirit, and Spirit-filling comes only through drinking deeply of the word of Christ. Jesus said,

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive... - John 7:37-39 ESV

The Spirit and the Word – God’s breath – are indivisible in their joy-producing work in the soul. And when they breathe together in and through us, they produce joyful, Scriptural, spiritual singing!

Just as one can only be drunk on wine by drinking plenty of it, we must drink the Word of God - plenty of it, praying for the Spirit's help, reading, drinking, meditating on its glories, trusting in its promises, until there is an intoxication with holy joy. Then, let all who by the Spirit are happy in Christ and His promises sing songs of praise!

Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. - James 5:13 ESV

________________________________

Is this a right application of the Scriptures? Feel free to comment and tell me what you think!

Take this day...

2006-09-15T10:36:00.000-05:00

The first part of this poem has been in my mind all this morning and many other mornings. I pray it when I wake up and do not want to waste this day, or my life, but use it for God's glory.

a morning prayer

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. - Psalm 90:14 ESV

Take this day - I would not keep it for myself and fruitless be...

...Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:5 ESV

I would see in it Thy glory

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. -Psalm 19:1 ESV

I would read in it Thy story

"...give me understanding according to your word!" - Psalm 119:169 ESV

I would keep my soul-eyes fixed upon the One who died for me.

For I am Thine

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20 ESV

Then, let me hold and cling to closely
Not Thy gifts, but only Thee
Let me see I'm undeserving
Let me see my place is serving
Let me love Thee and Thy children
Let me gladly rest in Thee.
For Thou art mine.

- by Alyssa Faith Colby

...nothing like a job well done!

2006-09-11T15:52:00.000-05:00

Quite a few years ago, a group of us missionary kids used to gather together to do music with one of the missionary moms. We learned alot of "Patch the Pirate" (Ron Hamilton) songs. The chorus of one that I still remember well goes something like this:

"It's good old fashioned, callous-makin' back-bone-breakin' work
That's the secret formula - it's plain, hard, work!
I work all day; I work all night; I'm up with the mornin' sun
'Cause nothin' brings me satisfaction like a job well done!

The other day the song was going through my head. When I got to the last line I started thinking... "Nothing brings me satisfaction like a job well done..." That is how I am. I love to start a task, whether sewing, cleaning, baking or writing, and finish it well. But there is one work that was better done than any job I've done. When it was done, the One who accomplished it said, "It is finished."

Whenever I think of that song now, I think of the finished work of Christ. His death on the cross for my sins and his resurrection for my justification, totally satisfied the justice of God. It should totally satisfy me. What can I do to make up for my sin? Nothing. "It is finished."

There at the cross of Christ, my salvation was worked, and worked perfectly. It was a job well done. Nothing should bring me greater satisfaction. I not only believe in this, I must satiate my soul-thirst with it.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." - Rom. 3:23-26 ESV

It is finished!

Thoughts on Killing Sin

2006-09-08T07:59:00.000-05:00

"Our darling sin must die. Spare it not for its much crying. Strike, though it be as dear as an Isaac. Strike, for God struck at sin when it was laid upon His own Son. With stern unflinching purpose must you condemn to death that sin which was once the idol of your heart. Do you ask how you are to accomplish this? Jesus will be your power. You have grace to overcome sin given you in the covenant of grace; you have strength to win the victory in the crusade against inward lusts, because Christ Jesus has promised to be with you even unto the end. If you would triumph over darkness, set yourself in the presence of the Sun of Righteousness. There is no place so well adapted for the discovery of sin, and recovery from its power and guilt, as the immediate presence of God. Job never knew how to get rid of sin half so well as he did when his eye of faith rested upon God, and then he abhorred himself, and repented in dust and ashes. The fine gold of the Christian is oft becoming dim. We need the sacred fire to consume the dross. Let us fly to our God, He is a consuming fire; He will not consume our spirit, but our sins. Let the goodness of God excite us to a sacred jealousy, and to a holy revenge against those iniquities which are hateful in His sight." - from Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening

John Owen said, "Be killing sin or it will be killing you."

"Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul." - 1 Peter 2:11 (ESV)

Some thoughts on movies and television

2006-09-04T13:35:00.000-05:00

As a young child, I loved watching movies and videos, but Mother and Daddy were always good about not letting us watch too many videos (for which I am glad)

A year or so ago, someone sent us two DVD's - not Christian, just secular, old family movies. We watched one of them one evening, and the next morning at my devotions, I found myself fighting desperately to keep my mind on God's word. Scenes from the movie came back again and again. They weren't necessarily bad scenes, but they filled my mind. In anguish, I thought, "So help me God - I never want to watch a secular movie again." That is the foundation of life experience on which this blog post is written:

My heart is burdened these days about the amount of television and movies many Americans view, including some Christians. I am not concerned about it as if it were outright disobedience (there is no command, "Do not watch television"). I am sad because so many people forfeit God's best for their life by frittering their time away on legitimate, but worthless things.

To set the affections of our hearts on things above is humanly un-natural, yes humanly impossible, and thus requires much grace from God, prayer and meditation on Scripture. It seems that a God directed state of heart is so fragile, it can be swept away by the smallest thing. And television can crush it so quickly! It's hard to be spiritually-minded - why make it harder with secular tv shows and movies? Of course, R-rated movies and trash TV are terribly destructive to holiness, but so-called "clean" movies or tv shows can also be detrimental to the fervency of devotion that Christians desire to have because of a profound absence of God.

I'm not talking about a law. Clean TV programs are not necessarily a sin to watch. But do I desire to have a deep awareness of the presence of God, a rich fullness of His word? Or do I desire to be entertained and have an hour of fun, even at the expense of an hour of growth in grace. (It is important to remember also, that our desire is fueled by being fed what it wants) Can I say after watching a movie or tv program, "Oh how I love Thy law! It is my meditation all the day!" It may be true of some movies and programs, but it is not so with most of the media available today.

What makes them so spiritually dulling? The comfortable absence of God.

What is immoral? Is it violence? Is it nudity and immodesty? Is it bad language? Yes, yes and yes. But it is also immoral to neglect God. "Whether you eat or you drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (I Cor. 10:31) Secular movies simply ignore the Glorious Creator of the World, and that is evil. Unlike the sodomy and violence that fills many tv screens, this evil is subtle and creeps into the households of a sadly large number of people. God is not acknowledged, and as far as the people on the screen are concerned, it's just fine that way.

Just test yourself after you watch a secular movie. Where is your hunger for God? Where is your desire to read His Word? I have found at such times that holy desires are far away . Is it a wonder so many Christians lack holiness, fervent devotion and spiritual power when their brains are tuned to entertainment?

Why starve your poor soul? Why feed on that which makes you spiritually malnourished?

I pray for people that God would cause them to lose taste for the things of this world, that he would do as the psalmist says, "Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word."

I got this quote from Horatius Bonar on a blog, and though it speaks of reading, it applies very well to television:

"Specially beware of light reading…The light literature of the day is working a world of harm; vitiating the taste of the young, enervating their minds, unfitting them for life’s plain work, eating out their love of the Bible, teaching them a false morality, and creating in the soul an unreal standard of truth, and beauty, and love. Don’t be too fond of the newspaper. Yet read it, that you may know both what man is doing and what God is doing; and extract out of all you read matter for thought and prayer…Let your reading be always select; and whatever you read, begin with seeking God’s blessing on it. But see that your relish for the Bible be above every other enjoyment, and the moment you begin to feel greater relish for any other book, lay it down till you have sought deliverance from such a snare, and obtained from the Holy Spirit an intenser relish, a keener appetite for the Word of God (Jer. 15:16)."

Well, that was a long post, but I hope that whoever reads it is encouraged by it, to more wholeheartedly pursue God's word, God's kingdom, love and good deeds.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
-Hebrews 10:24 ESV

"Our lives proceed out of our theology"

2006-09-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

Thursday, June 22, 2006

In When People are BIG and GOD is Small by Ed Welch, I read the most interesting statement:

"our lives proceed out of our theology"

That statement struck me because it is so true. What we do is a result of how we view God and what we believe about him. This theology is not necessarily a stated creed (though such things can be very good) or what we would write on a theology examination; it is what we really think of God in our deepest heart. Our lives proceed from this.

It doesn't matter if I can say God is good, or can quote Romans 8:28 to hurting people, if I don't believe in my heart that God really is good.

Do I believe firmly that He keeps His promises? Are they my rock in difficult circumstances? Or do I think they are nice-sounding words that can't have meaning when my heart is aching? My life will show it.

Do I really believe that since the righteousness of God in Christ is mine by faith, that my righteousness cannot fluctuate, and that God looks at me as righteous in Christ all the time? Or do I think that when I sin He gets angry at me?

Do I really believe that if I confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse? Or do I think that Christ's death was not enough for my sins, and I have to feel morbid and guilty for at least a whole day to "make up" for my failure?

Do I really believe that "If God is for us, who can be against us?" and "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:31-32 ESV) It will make a difference in how I live. What I believe about God is the basis of my life, whether I realize it or not.

Do I believe that God is great and awesome - really? I could sing "I Stand in Awe of You" on Sunday, but unless I believe in God's all-surpassing might and value in my heart, on Monday I could go to the mall with one thought pre-eminent in my mind: "What are people thinking of me?" and care more about that then about God. What is my theology then? What about being in awe of God? If I claim to stand in awe of Him, why doesn't His presence consume my every thought?
This is the aspect of life that Ed Welch's book deals with. Here is the context of the first quote: "Perhaps you weren't expecting a theological excursion on the path to dealing with the fear of other people, but our lives proceed out of our theology - our understanding of God and ourselves."

Sometimes...we have pretty bad theology, and sometimes we supress good theology. I believe those are the times we sin. So what I desire to do (and encourage anyone reading this to do) is to fix in my heart and mind who God really is - what He has really done and what He is really like. And that comes through His Word.

Wow - it comes back to reading the Bible.

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence"
(2 Peter 1:3 ESV)

What is heavenly reward like? Thoughts from Jonathan Edwards

2006-09-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

Monday, June 5, 2006

We hear alot, in sermons and in reading the Bible, about reward in heaven. But what does it consist of? I heard it explained at one time, I think by John Piper quoting Jonathan Edwards, so I ransacked Google to find it. Finally I turned up a page entitled "The Glory of Heaven", which is not by Edwards, but quotes him, and so I have entered this piece, which states the same analogy I once heard, because it presents itself well to me:

"..."For we must all stand before the judgment seat of Christ that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, whether good or bad."... It is apparent that free rewards are promised to believers in glory which will be equivalent to what we have done in our labors for the Lord here on earth....
Other Scriptures state quite clearly that a difference will be made between believers in glory. Daniel is told that "those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever" (Daniel 12:3)... This is plainly taught in the parable of the talents as well, where one man was put in authority over ten cities and another over five (Luke 19:12-19).

(Now here's the analogy that I liked):
"The saints are like so many vessels of different sizes cast into a sea of happiness where every vessel is full: this is eternal life, for a man to have his capacity filled. But after all tis left to God's sovereign pleasure, tis His prerogative to determine the largeness of the vessel."[Jonathan Edwards] Each person will be filled to their capacity with blessedness and joy. None will lack anything. But there will be those who have a greater capacity for joy than others. Christopher Love explains: "Though there be degrees of glory, yet this doth not imply, that there shall be defects or want (lack) of glory in heaven to any glorified persons, but every person shall be as full of glory as he can hold, or is capable of. Perkins explains it by a clear demonstration. Take a little vessel and a great vessel, and cast both these into the sea, both these vessels will be full, yet there is not [as much] in the little vessel as in the great, though both are full. So, saith he, the godly are like two vessels, yet one, by reason of the enjoyment of God, is more capacious (spacious) to take in more of God than the other is, yet the least saint shall be full of glory; he that hath least glory, shall have glory sufficient, though not glory equal with some glorified saints: so that degrees of glory doth not argue any defect in those persons that have less glory than others have."...Jonathan Edwards believed that the degree of glory or reward would be determined by four factors: degrees of grace and holiness here, degree of good that is done, self-denial and suffering, and eminency in humility... ".

I cannot think of any better analogy of eternity and its rewards than this one of jars in a sea.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. - Psalm 16:11 ESV

A Little Picture of Perseverance

2006-09-01T07:21:00.000-05:00

May 30, 2006

On Sunday I was with Mother in the car - now I have to explain to any readers our unique situation. We have a little church that meets in a decrepit building on the corner of the main road. (It's decrepit partly because we don't own it, and every service we have no assurance that it won't be our last one in the building - so we don't spend much money on upkeep. We are trying and praying toward buying the building but the owner is a rather moody Hindu man who wants more money out of us than we can give. Thankfully, neither he nor his demands are greater than our God.) Anyway, after service mother was taking a lady home in our car while everyone else waited at the church - except for me. I decided to go along. It was raining, and after dropping off the lady, we were going along the muddy road back toward the church building when we saw a sight. Both Mother and I wished we had the camera, but a word picture must suffice:
A young boy of about seven years was coming down the road. He was barefoot and wearing only underpants (which is very normal in Guyana - and probably better for walking in the rain!) He had probably just ridden the family bike to the local shop to buy ice and was now returning. The bike was a full-size adult bike and he was pushing it with both hands. His head was slightly down, gripping the top of the bag of ice between his front teeth, while rain streamed down his face. His face was a picture of grit and determination as he slowly pushed the bike toward home. What a picture! I hope his mother thanked him when he got home.
Sometimes life is like that.
What kept that boy going? The command of his parent and the end of his trip - home! (and maybe a soft drink with ice when he got there.) Something better awaits believers in Christ - God. Our dwelling place, our eternal home and our fountain of delight forever. He will fill us with joy in His presence, with eternal pleasure at His right hand.
And if we have to tramp barefoot through mud in life, our hands so full, we wish we had three... we can keep on going, one step at a time. Jesus will keep us persevering in grace and our God will bring us safely home. I know that no analogy is a perfect one - our lives aren't always tramping through mud. There is earthly joy many times in our way. But when we have to drudge, the joy of the Lord is our strength and the end of the journey is our hope.

"...strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God." - Acts 14:22 ESV

Thoughts on "Call"

2006-08-28T19:13:00.000-05:00

Monday, January 23, 2006

"And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the Lord calls." - Joel 2:32 (ESV)

This verse amazes me "...everyone who calls(and)...whom the LORD calls." Those who call and are saved, are those whom the Lord has called!
I never really saw that verse before, but it is something like John 6:37:
"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.."

Joel 2:32 brought to mind this hymn:

"Lord, 'tis not that I did choose Thee,
That I know could never be.
For this heart would still refuse Thee
Had Thy grace not chosen me.
Thou hast from the sin that stained me
Washed and cleansed and set me free,
And unto this end ordained me,
That I ever live to Thee.

"Twas Thy grace in Christ that called me,
Taught my darkened heart and mind.
Else the world had yet enthralled me,
To Thy heavn'ly glories blind.
Now my heart owns none above Thee,
For Thy grace alone I thirst,
Knowing well that if I love Thee,
Thou, O Christ, didst love me first."

- Josiah Conder, 1843, alt.

Gold instead of Bronze

2006-08-26T14:19:00.000-05:00

Friday, November 4, 2005

" Instead of bronze I will bring you gold,
and silver in place of iron.
Instead of wood I will bring you bronze,
and iron in place of stones.
I will make peace your governor
and righteousness your ruler." - Isaiah 60:17

Meditating on this verse showed me that God wants to and does give the best to His children, for He loves us.
We must realize, though, that what He gives may be far different from what we have thought best all along. What we think gold may only be wood, but He knows what is truly best.
We are in want of nothing better what He shall give us, but much must be gained by prayer. Knowing His desire and purposes are altogether good, shall we not pray "Thy will be done" with utmost pleasure?

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" - Romans 8:32 ESV

2006-08-26T14:08:00.000-05:00

Ask, and it shall be given unto you - a story.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

Yesterday was Tuesday, visitation day for our church. The Lord had laid it upon my heart to visit my friend Anna, a girl about my age who lives in Edinburgh near our church but goes to a very small Pentecostal church nearby with her family. I hadn't talked to her in a long time. Throughout the day I just asked God to fill me with His Spirit and give me wisdom and let me glorify Him in what I say to her. Mother said I should also visit Asha, a Muslim girl from Georgetown (the capital) who had come back from there and was staying with her aunt in Edinburgh. (I'd had a Bible study with her before.) I felt so helpless to accomplish anything, but God has never failed me, and I asked him to use me once again.

So my mother and I went to Edinburgh (the village of our church about 2 miles away from Glasgow, where we live) First we visited a lady who goes to our church, whose little son was very sick, with tonsilitis as we found out. She was sitting on a bench in her side porch, holding a piece of styrofoam. Mother talked with her while I kept quiet, watching three of their dogs tumble and walk around nearby. When we were about to leave, the lady said she'd tried to call us but our phone was busy. Mother asked, "Do you have our cell-phone number?"
"No"
"Do you have a piece of paper?"
"I can just write it on this" (the styrofoam)
"Um, I can't remember it, Alyssa?"
Aha! That's the whole providential reason I came along, to say "619-5682". Well God works out little things too.

[When we got back into the car, we were greeted by the pungent smell of ripe mangoes. Through the whole time, we couldn't figure out what it was coming from.]

Anyway, Mother took me to Nali's house/shop where Asha was. While I was with Asha, I asked her what she remembered from the last time, when we studied in Romans. She said, "The good and the bad". That's all she could remember. I reminded her that who is bad is us, and who is good is God. Then I sought to explain to her Isaiah 53 and the gospel, Jesus bearing our sins, our righteousness not sufficient - we must have His, which we get by believing in Him who will take our sins and be our righteousness. I don't know how much she understood, but she listened attentively. She is not a strong Muslim, and likes Christianity, that's why my mother got me onto her. But oh may God open her eyes to see and understand and believe.

Leaving that house, I walked down the street to remind Kelly that I was only coming for her reading lessons every other week now. She looked as if she had forgotten I wasn't coming and was ready for me and I felt reluctant not to stay, but I had a mission - Anna, so I told her to keep on studying.

I decided that I didn't want to walk on the busy main road to go to Anna's so I turned into the next street, where I learned a lesson - always look the whole way down a street before you enter it. There were 4 oil barrels forming a barricade to large vehicles at the head of the street and I walked around them. The side of the street was freshly laid with tar and gravel, so I stepped over that and walked on the little dirt strip on the far side. A hired car driver was trying to enter the road and was moving the barrels. A middle-aged man was standing in front of his house yelling at the man for messing with other people's property - I hurried on my way. As I walked I realized that men were still working on the road - oh no, workmen. I doubted that this white girl could get past them without some comments. I ignored one who said, "How are you this afternoon? - hey, you can't even give a 'good afternoon'?" Well I managed to get through the street without too many more comments and soon reached Anna's house. Her mother was there, but she was at church practicing worship dance and would soon be back. So we sat on the porch and talked. I love how easy it is to go to Guyanese people's houses and visit them. While we sat there, a girl who lived on the same street as the church passed on her bike, and Anna's mother hollered for her to tell Anna to come home because somebody was here for her. Anna's mother told me about Anna's being in the President's Youth Club program and how she had gotten the Silver Award for her walking expidition (A kind of 'scouts' program) She wants to go for the gold - walking from Lethem to Brazil!

When Anna came, we talked about that and I shared some verses with her. I asked her what her goal for her life was. She said, "In the church, I want to be a preacher and teach people God's word, and in my life I want to be an accountant." I knew that there church promotes women leadership. She had also told me that in her Bible she mostly reads the gospels and some of the beginning. Well, I showed her the passages in Timothy and I Cor. about women, that they should not speak in the church. She had NEVER heard those verses and it seemed they just blew her mind. Well I talked to her about that and later told her my testimony. God empowered me so much and gave me so much joy and freedom in speaking to her. When I left she said, "I feel so different." and I told her to think about and pray about the things I'd told her.

God never fails. He uses earthem vessels to display His glory. When I opened my Bible in the Psalms that night, I saw one verse, "When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stout-hearted." Amen.

2006-08-25T16:47:00.000-05:00

"And He will win the battle. "

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

On Monday, our family went to Whim beach, about 45 minutes up the coast. On our drive along the single coastal road we saw clusters of uniformed school-children streaming onto the road, wandering cows, big new houses and shops - and an Islamic school. It was a large, newly built wooden structure and we passed just as the children, all dressed in dark green and white uniforms were being let out. Young girls with burkas and backpacks, young boys with white skullcaps and others dressed like "christian" schoolchildren - bareheaded. I watched their faces as we passed and felt discouragement weigh upon me, discouragement over the spread of Islam that we have been seeing more and more of, and sadness for their souls. How this region could benefit from a Christian school…but our organization of churches here is so tiny, so lacking in resources and Christian leaders, that the prospect of a Christian school seems beyond unimaginable.

Not only did we see one new Muslim school, I saw on our trip that the Muslims are building a big new school beside their huge mosque in New Amsterdam, and we saw a large new Muslim youth center as well.

On the way home from the beach we stopped at a big white store where we go to buy "American" things. I stayed outside, and while sitting in the car, I looked up and saw the muslim moon and star symbol painted thrice, high on the buiding. How the Muslims seem to prosper. While they build big new buildings, we meet in a tiny, wooden bottomhouse addition - unpainted except for the FOR SALE spray-painted on every wall by the owner, with his phone numbers added to the graffiti. I know that God is Sovereign but felt like the psalmist in Psalm 73 - why do the wicked prosper? And the dread feeling that Islam would take over Guyana jostled the foundations of my heart.

In the midst of this, the Lord whispered His word to my heart. At the beach I finished the missions chapter of Desiring GOD. "What is impossible with men is possible with God." John Piper quoted. And in my heart sang "The Lord knows those who are his....", "Those whom he predestined he also called...", and the remembrance of the foretold end, the redeemed worshipping the Lamb who has conquered everything. It lifted my soul in hope - the war will be won! ... but what about this battle? What can I do?

"I will build my church" said Jesus.

What a disconsolate creature I must be, since all this did not cheer my heart as it ought to have. Finally, at bedtime, our ever gracious Lord caused the Psalms to burst upon my longing heart with almighty truth:

"I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples,
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,
and let your glory be over all the earth.
Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.

God has spoken from his sanctuary:
"In triumph I will parcel out Shechem
and measure off the Valley of Succoth.

Gilead is mine, Manasseh is mine;
Ephraim is my helmet,
Judah my scepter.

Moab is my washbasin,
upon Edom I toss my sandal;
over Philistia I shout in triumph."

Who will bring me to the fortified city?
Who will lead me to Edom?

Is it not you, O God, you who have rejected us
and no longer go out with our armies?

Give us aid against the enemy,
for the help of man is worthless.

With God we will gain the victory,
and he will trample down our enemies.
- Psalm 108:3-13

May God someday shout in triumph over Guyana - He will win the victory and trample Satan, our enemy. He is King and his glory will someday be over all of the earth.

2006-08-21T15:59:00.001-05:00

Eureka! According to the Providential Kindness of an Ever-Watching Lord

Monday, August 8, 2005

Has it been weeks, days, months - years? - or just dull seasons, that I have stumbled groggily through morning devotions; praying, but only realizing that I was thinking about my wardrobe or one thousand other trivial things, sitting to pray for 30 minutes, but only praying for 10 or 15 of them and just feeling frustrated? Oh what a drag it was on my soul!

Yesterday around noon, I sat down on the couch - there were a few minutes before lunch - and asked God to just help me; can't even remember what I prayed. Beside me was Desiring God which I have been reading for awhile (and which I will say to anyone that if you haven't read this, read it!).

Picking it up, I opened to the end of the chapter on "Scripture: The Kindling for Christian Hedonism" where I had left off. John Piper wrote about George Mueller [some excerpts from a long passage]

"I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord......I might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strenghened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit. Before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing, to give myself to prayer, after having dressed in the morning. Now I saw, that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it...The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord's blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God; searching as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it... The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my would has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. When thus I have been for awhile making confession, or intercession, or supplicaion, or have given thanks, I go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the Word may lead to it; but still continally keeping before me, that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation...

"The difference between my former practice and my present one is this. Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events I almost invariably began with prayer....But what was the result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often after having suffered from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray.

"I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with God, I speak to my Father, and to my Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it!) about the things that He has brought before me in His precious Word."

Now, that was EXACTLY what I needed; and this morning I did this - prayerful meditation on God's word. It was such a blessed way of doing morning devotions. I want to do this for the rest of my life! Thanks be to God for the wisdom passed on from saints gone before.

Be Still Busy Bee!

2006-08-18T12:16:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

I finished “Incredible Christian” by Tozer today and was highly encouraged (and corrected) by the last article, entitled “Meditating on God”.

How many of us are like this: If I’m not getting something done, making something, fixing something, giving something, cleaning something, or visiting somebody – I’m not living, I’m wasting my time. There is this awful force in me : A Restless Need for Productivity.

That’s where I was that morning as I sat (sewing while I read).

“To know God well he must think on Him unceasingly. Nothing that man has discovered about himself or God has revealed any short cut to pure spirituality... I am convinced that the dearth of great saints in these times even among those who truly believe in Christ is due at least in part to our unwillingness to give sufficient time to the cultivation of the knowledge of God. We of the nervous West [what an apt phrase!] are victims of the philosophy of activism tragically misunderstood. Getting and spending, going and returning, organizing and promoting, buying and selling, working and playing – this alone constitutes living. if we are not making plans or working to carry out plans already made we feel that we are failures, that we are sterile unfruitful eunuchs… “The worldly man can never rest. He must have “somewhere to go” and “something to do.” This is a result of the Fall, a symptom of a deep-lying disease, yet a blind religious leadership caters to this terrible restlessness instead of trying to cure it by the Word and the Spirit."

I realized: “THAT’s my problem! It had nagged me and this just - thank you Lord!- snatched off the scales from my eyes."

"Brood on the Scriptures and let faith show you God as He is revealed there. nothing else can equal this glorious sight." - Tozer

Is this not what Jesus meant when he said: "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted about many things. But only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her." - Luke 10:41-42

2006-08-18T10:28:00.000-05:00

A Thought from A.W. Tozer

I like to read Tozer's writings. This is an excerpt from his article, "To be Understood, Truth Must be Lived":

"At what point, then, does a theological fact become for the one who holds it a truth? At the point where obedience begins. ...Theological facts are like the altar of Elijah on Carmel before the fire came, correct, properly laid out, but altogether cold. When the heart makes the ultimate surrender, the fire falls and true facts are transmuted into spiritual truth that transforms, enlightens, sanctifies."

The reason why we must be doers, and not hearers only, of the Word of God. Before I read this, I never thought of truth in that way.

Another thought from A.W. Tozer

2006-08-01T10:54:00.000-05:00

Tozer is a dead saint that God has used in my life. His book,"The Pursuit of God." is so utterly spiritual, it seems to glow from nearness to the person of God. In keeping with my blog title, I will post a few great thoughts from this book:

"Much of our difficulty as Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingl. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image....We can get a right start only by accepting God as He is and learning to love Him for what He is. As we go on to know Him better we shall find it a source of unspeakable joy that God is just what He is. Some of the most rapturous moments we know will be those we spend in reverent admiration of the Godhead. In those holy moments the very thought of change in Him will be too painful too endure."

Malachi 4:1 - "I the LORD do not change" This ought to be better news to us than: "You will never get cancer or any disease for all your life." or "From this day forward your children will be saints to perfection" or "you have just received one million dollars." The LORD does not change. This is far greater.

If we knew our God better, knew how truly wonderful and satisfying He is, then knowing that this will not change, and that we possess Him, in Jesus Christ our Savior, oh how happy we may be! "The very thought of change in Him will be too painful too endure" if this is our only pain, then we are in for everlasting pleasure, in the presence of God, because of his unchanging promise to justify those who have faith in Jesus.